Casiopea's "Funky Sound Bombers"

Artist: Casiopea (Japan)

Album: Funky Sound Bombers (1987)

Okaaay. Let's just start.

Down Upbeat sounds like the music in a funky dance routine in a really bad 80s movie, or a band in a really bad 80s movie that the director thinks sounds good.

Really, it just sounds like a bad 80s movie.

It's just bad.

I kind of feel like shooting myself right between the temples and I'm only 3:07 minutes into the album.

Kind of a "just end it right now" feeling.

Well, that was special. How about track two?

Okay, Misty Lady already sounds indistinguishable from Down Upbeat. That's always great when you're listening to any album.

But Jesus Christ, they're a Japanese jazz-funk band in the 80s, I don't know if I was expecting anything other than this pile of steaming shit.

When I hear this, I'm so thankful I was born in 1993 and missed every single part of the 80s. Thank God my mom has a defective uterus and had to have children late. Otherwise I might have had to live through this.

Okay, track three. I have high expectations. Don't believe me? It's because I don't.

Oh, how ironic. The title is Something's Wrong (Change it). If I were clever I could come up with so much.

Oh Jesus Christ. Oh Jesus fucking Christ. NO. NO.

NO. NO. NO.

They're singing now. The past two songs have been instrumental, but it's just a whole new kind of awful with vocals. You don't even know.

Honestly, it sounds no different. But, no jazz does. So, it fits the genre well.

I can't believe we're only on track four.

Sigh. Mid-Manhattan has some pretty horrific keyboards that I thought were midi at first. Thank God they aren't midi.

I honestly can't see any sane human being living in this decade sitting down and listening to this album AND NOT REGRETTING IT.

Let's just move onto Street Performer.

I'm beginning to wonder if this entire album is the soundtrack to a bad 80s movie (there I go with that theme again). I'm just baffled. This is the kind of thing you hear when people parody the 80s and the early 90s. Hell if I knew this kind of shit existed.

That honestly horrifies me.

I may as well skip the rest of the damn album (but I won't). Each one of these songs sounds identical to each other, which includes track 6, In the Pocket. In fact, they could all be the same songs. That just how similar they all sound.

I feel like bursting into tears or exploding in a rage. I'm not sure which yet. This feels like a punishment of the ultimate caliber. Why does God hate me?

Oh Christ, no. Dazzling has vocals again.

I think I'm considering the option of raging. I am just at a lack of words, but hardly at a lack of emotion. There are plenty of emotions going through my head at this moment: disappointment, rage, annoyance, pity, sorrow, hatred, pain (physical and mental), disgust... It goes on.

Galactic Funk sounds a tiny bit different from the others? Oh fuck, who cares anymore. They could have a masterpiece rivaling motherfucking Bach at the end of the album and it wouldn't be compensation enough for actually sitting through this trash.

It's times like these that I wish I drank so I could just get wasted and forget about this band.

At this point in the album (track 9) I am beginning to become sensitive to light because of the pounding headache that is taking over my thoughts. I can't predict what I will do next because of my irrational anger. Homicide and/or suicide seems most likely.

Track 10: I have begun writing down detailed descriptions of who I will take with me on my massive killing spree. Things don't look good for my dog, Emma. I feel my mental health deteriorating. The massive amounts of bass, electronic keyboards and stereotypical jazz have proved near fatal.

Track 11: The last track. This has been the ultimate test of my sanity, which I have been quickly losing the battle to. There is a light to the tunnel, it seems, and it is 2 minutes and 16 seconds away. I can't imagine hell being more horrific than this experience. Not even the most vengeful of Gods would force someone through this torture.

0 out of 5

ZERO out of FUCKING FIVE.

ZERO.

This is easily the worst piece of God damn donkey shit I have ever listened to and I hope those that enjoy it get the help that they so desperately need.

Cunt piss cock ass I hate this album.

This takes the cake as the worst album I have ever heard. Each one of the songs on this poor excuse of "music" deserves to be put on a list of "Worst things on Earth, ever". NOT JUST MUSIC. EVERYTHING.

THIS ALBUM IS WORSE THAN EVERYTHING.

Candies's "Best Selection"

Artist: Candies (Japan)

Album: Best Selection incomplete

Oh boy. This should be fun.

It is so hard to convey sarcasm over the internet, but that was it.

Candies were an extremely (and I mean extremely) popular Japanese pop-idol group in the 70s. If that doesn't just spell "winner" I don't know what does.

.... Sarcasm.

Apparently there are still fucking rumors that they will reunite. They disbanded in 1977 for Christ's sake and yet all the 12 year old girls (who are now 45) and pedophiles want them back.

Anyhow...

Let's start with Anata no Muchuu.

Well, it sounds very 70s.

And it's painfully happy.

With the staple chipmunk-esque J-Pop vocalists.

It's so repetitive, you could play the first minute of the song over and over again and it wouldn't change.

Sounds like some true Japanese pop. Fits all the requirements.

But, idol bands are all about looks, not about the music. Which is why I hate idol bands so much.

Yasashii Akuma...
Well, the first line of the song is the title. That's always a sign of utter lameness. (I mean, there are exceptions, but--)

I admit, this band is not as bad as the other Japanese pop I've heard. It's nothing spectacular, but it's listenable. Hell, it's slightly catchy. I admit it.

Toshishita no Otoko no Ko is equally peppy. Pretty much as sugary sweet as you can get. Those who know me know that I don't especially like that, unless it's purely ironic.

But, as if they wrote their own music anyhow. They were too busy dancing, looking cute and occasionally singing.

I can imagine "back in the day" rebels would have despised this, but "nowadays" it has that sort of old charm that is a little hard to resist.

Sono Ki ni Sasenaide's first line is also the title of the song. I just can't tell you how lame that sounds. In fact, they say it twice. And at the beginning of the other verses. I'm not sure what it translates out to be, but it can't possibly be that deep that you have to say it 10 times.

Shochuu Omimai Moushiagemasu again begins with the song title. Sigh.

Well, I pretty much want to vomit my intestines out of my throat hole listening to this cavity-inducing sweet music.

Haru Ichiban really doesn't bring much else, especially with that stupid song title (I believe it translates to "Spring is the best". Deep shit right there.)

And hey look at that! I'm done! Thank God for incomplete downloads, it must have known I didn't want this.

2 out of 5

I ADMIT. Some of it is undeniably catchy. I can actually see some people enjoying this. I may have even enjoyed it a little bit. But that doesn't change the fact that I never want to listen to it again.

BUG's "BIORED"

Artist: BUG (Japan)

Album: BIORED (2005) incomplete

Okay, so obviously something went wrong with the download when I got this, so I only have three tracks. This will go quick.

How about CRUSH first.

Well, it sounds pretty heavy, but I was expecting that. This is Kyo from D'erlanger's project, right? I hope I'm right. Hell if I know anything about D'erlanger. Except that Cipher and Kyo frenched in the La Vie en Rose PV.

But I'm rambling.

CRUSH is your average Japanese hard rock song. Not too much defining about it. In fact, it's a little bit annoying.

Not to mention... "Crush crush my body"? What?

Stupid, Stupid sounds... peppier? Yeah, that's right.

Christ, Kyo almost sounds like a damn Oshare-Kei vocalist here, what the hell happened between those two tracks?

It's a little bit sickening, really. Not just his voice, but the whole song.

I've never thought D'erlanger were anything special (especially for being a "father of Visual-Kei"), but come on, Kyo. You can do better.

Alright, alright. BURrrrN is the last track I have.

It has a hint of electronic in there. But so far that's all that is really interesting. Except it isn't interesting at all. It's repetitive and annoying.

2 out of 5.

Sorely disappointed.

Maybe the rest of the album was better, but I don't care enough to go and download it. I figure this is enough.

Buffalo Daughter's "Shaggy Head Dressers"

Artist: Buffalo Daughter (Japan)
Album: Shaggy Head Dressers (1994)

Short one, thank God. As usual (lately,that is) I'm at school.

Well, track one, Message From Buffalo, seems to be exactly that: a message from buffalo. For thirty seconds.

Dr.Moooooooooooooooooooooog is second. Christ, what's with all the filler? It's a damn mini-album and you're using so much filler, why not just make a maxi-single? For Christ's sake.
Finally it starts up at 1:12 with some weird eighties sounding keyboard. Similar to Apogee and Perigee, it seems. As long as the singer isn't Jun Togawa things should be fine with me.
Well, things aren't exactly going quickly so far. It's seems endless or something. It's not bad, just not particularly interesting.

In my opinion, that's the worst a band could be. At least I'll be remembering how Godawfully bad Boredoms are months from now, but something tells me that if things continue like this, I'll forget Buffalo Daughter.

Alright, alright, here I go with my biases judgements on the first two songs as usual. I'll listen to track 3, Cold Summer and hope that maybe I can get something from it.
Again, it sounds eighties, which I don't think is a plus considering this is from fucking 1994.

Well, broken English: check. I kind of figured I'd get that from the title of the album.
So far, pretty boring. Strangely enough it's fairly original, just low energy and just doesn't impress me much.
Maybe if I were in a different mood I would like this. Even then, it's nothing extraordinary.
And apparently a "hot winter is coming soon". She has repeated this about ten times.

Uh-huh.

Health or Die... Okay? I guess the title almost makes sense?
Well, this one is better. I can't really pinpoint anything wrong, in fact, I like it a bit. But just a bit. Nothing to get really excited about. It's just Shibuya-Kei.

Alright, California Blues.
As sad as it is, I really don't have many complaints. I just don't particularly like it.
I imagine those more involved in the Shibuya movement would get a kick out of it, though. But, maybe you should just stick to Pizzicato Five or Flipper's Guitar in that case (though, I haven't heard much of their material, either).

Apologies, this review is lacking in the usual anger, disappointment and resentment.

Well, here is the last track, Daisy. It starts with some man attempting to communicate with a bird and then saying that birds can't talk? I don't really know. All I know is the stabs on guitar are a little annoying.
The vocalist is nothing special, I forgot to mention that. It's definitely not bad, but it's got too much of a sweet, J-pop vibe to it, in my opinion. However, it's pleasant, especially in this song. In fact, I rather like it when the chorus comes along. It didn't stand out in the others, though.

Well, what can I say?

3 out of 5

I think that's the perfect rating. It's really just good. Nothing too special, though. I'd only get ahold of it if you are exploring the main acts of Shibuya-Kei.

Download

Boredoms's "Chocolate Synthesizer"

Artist: Boredoms (Japan)

Album: Chocolate Synthesizer

Okay, okay, let's start.

Track one is Acid Police and what the hell is this.

It took about 30 seconds to realize they were screaming "Acid!! Police!!" back and forth.

It has been over 45 seconds and all it is so far are two men screaming to each other. Now there's a crappy sounding guitar strumming away. This is impossibly annoying, really.

Well, around 1:42 some pretty thunderous drums come in and help the song a lot. I still don't especially like it, but it's tolerable now.

It just feels excruciatingly long.

The second track is Chocolate Synthesizer. It begins with some very high ringing, whispering and what sounds like water dropping.

I know this is an experimental band, but God I hope there is more to this band than this. Especially because I hear so much about them.
So, that track was useless. Synthesizer Guide Book on Fire better please me. Or I'll be quite discouraged.

So far, very discouraged. I don't exactly view bongo drumming with some warbling in the background as music. Sorry, Boredoms. Your band name seems true to your music.

Uh huh. So, Shock City begins as annoying as the other songs. And hey, it's just as annoying as the others throughout the entire song.

To me, it sounds like a case of trying too hard.

Except Christfuck this song is terrible. It may be hypocritical considering I gave After Dinner a 4 out of 5, but that had God damn charm and was listenable. I can not imagine any human listening to this song and thinking, "Yeah, this is good music."

Because it isn't.

God, why does everyone have such a huge boner over this band? Honestly...

Shock City wins one of the worst songs I have ever heard award, I think. And don't even fucking try to say I just don't "understand it".

Now for Tomato Synthesizer. I now have no hope of this getting any better. The grunting the man in this song is making sounds similar to my anger at the moment.

Oh my. Okay, this one is pretty bad too.

I can honestly say that my friends and I have made better music when we were just messing the hell around on sound recorder. We were in fourth fucking grade.

And these people are supposed to be influences? My ass.

Did I get their worst album or something? This is so Godawful. I can't even believe people listen to this!And apparently 87,000 people on Last.fm listen to it. Fuck my life.

What do you want to bet those 87,000 people are pretentious farts who say "you don't know music well enough to understand it" more than anything else in their day?

Well, Anarchy in the Ukk is the closest thing to "listenable" on this so far. I'm longing for the crap I heard at the beginning of the album right now.

Not really much to say. I am just relieved to hear an attempt at composing on this one (I use that loosely). It's almost refreshing. Still retch-worthy, but better.

Let's try out track 7, Mama Brain. Well, it has all the necessary requirements to be music, I guess. It sounds kind of like music. If music were gibberish and screaming.

Action Synthesizer Hero is... sigh.

This is a real special one. A special kind of annoying. A special kind of bad. I can actually feel my blood pressure rise. I hate this.

I actually suggest downloading the album and taking a listen just so you can hear this shit. Honest to fucking God.

Well, Uoredoms at least sounds like music? Not quality music, but hey. Join Mama Brain, Uoredoms.

I have such a God damn headache. Thank God I have an eye appointment in the next few minutes: I'll have a chance to rest my ears. My poor, poor ears.

Fast forward six hours. And I'm back from the appointment. Let's continue.

B is For Boredoms... They're really milking their name, aren't they?

I am getting the feeling this band is just trying to be as annoying as fucking possible. You cannot even imagine how ungodly obnoxious this is. I'm almost impressed.

I am not impressed that you can be successful with this little talent, however. I do want to know where I can sign up, though.

Eedoms is the 11th out of 15 tracks. This has been one of the more painful 43 minutes of my life. Yes, I have spent 43 fucking minutes listening to this in total. The entire God damn album is an hour. I can't even believe myself for wasting my time on this, I honestly just can't believe it.

Smoke 7 sounds like my late chain-smoking, out of his mind grandpa drunk and trying to sing.

Then it sounds like my friends and I in 4th grade again. I notice a theme here.

It's as intolerable as the rest. But, you probably expected that.

Turn Table Boredoms... Their overuse of their own band name is only giving me an even stronger feeling that they're self-righteous, pretentious turds. But hey, that's just my opinion.

At this point, fuck it. You know what I'm going to say.

Track whatever the hell it's at is I'm Not Synthesizer (Ypy?). What does "ypy?" mean? God, I don't know anymore.

This one is actually so, so bad I become angry. There are artists struggling out there that deserve recognition and shit like this is popular? God fucking damn it, Jesus fucking Christ, I hate people.

Now Dom Go Synthesizer Way (Why) is track---

Wait.

Wait.

This is....

the last track?

Seriously?

I can't even type I am so happy.

The end to my hell is over.

The last time I will ever have to listen to the worst band I have ever heard... Finally!

Can you guess the score? Can you?

0 out of 5.

I am not one to give zeros, because a zero is basically not fucking music. This is not fucking music.

This is quite possibly the worst album I have reviewed so far, and that is saying a lot. Actually, I am certain this is the worst. And I am actually not sure if anything can top it.

Something tells me this band's other albums are no better, so I'll be sure to stay as far away from their "music" as I can. A talentless waste of time and space on shelves.

I'll give the download link, just because you have to hear this shit.

Download

Bondage Fruits's "Bondage Fruit I"

I just watched The Nomi Song documentary so be prepared: I'm impossibly depressed, which either will equal me being unusually lenient or unusually harsh. Let's see what happens.

Artist: Bondage Fruit (Japan)

Album: Bondage Fruit I (1994)

Starts off with Holy Roller. I expected some up beat tune about roller blading for some reason. Seems I'm getting tribal drumming and a stabbing guitar riff, with some Middle Eastern folk wood winds.

Enter the strange chanting.
Okay, I admit, this is something that is getting my spirits up. This is nearly orgasmic. Bondage Fruit, it's like you knew I was having a crappy day and gave me this.

I can imagine a normal person would not understand this. Hell, I don't understand it. All I know is that this is one of the best things I've heard in a while. Never heard anything like it before.

The second track is Arabia no Zou, and again I have never heard anything come close. It's on the same level of weirdness as After Dinner, I'd say. That's a fucking accomplishment.

It kind of feels like I shouldn't like this, but I absolutely adore it. Everything just hits a good note with me, even though I'm still not sure what I'm listening to. I love chaotic music.

Kodomo no Torokko has the same strange chants and gibberish as the last two. So far, it has all been consistently amazing and consistently weird.

I looked up a little about them, and apparently they are a Zeuhl avant-garde band. Meaning they're obscure as fuck.

Something feels new to this blog... Oh my, it seems that each of these songs are different from each other? My Lord, this feels like a breakthrough on KaimukuListenToMe. Fan-fucking-tastic.

My overall thoughts: Kodomo no Torokko is a brilliant 8 minute epic. Not a dull moment.

Rigo starts off just as incredibly strange as the others, but I guess I wasn't expecting anything different.

It's short but it's quirky and intriguing.

Octopus-Command is the ultimate in chaos. Beautiful, beautiful chaos. It's just plain insane. I especially love the guitar/xylophone solo with the frantic gibberish at around 4:30.

Listening to this, my brain is trying to focus on one aspect of it, but I get confused and it all starts to blend together as one noise. That's how it feels to me, and that's exactly what I like about it.

After that is Hikou Suru Ko. I honestly don't know if I have heard them speak any kind of language yet, it all is strange chants.

This song is a bit more contemporary as the others. It's not quite as jarring or "What the hell am I listening to".

Oh wait, oh wait! Around 4:30 there is a real language! I'm pretty unsure what language it is, though.

Kakuu no Sakana is even more contemporary as Hikou Suru Ko. In a way, it's more off putting than the others, just because of how normal it is in comparison.

Regardless, it's a lovely song.

Kinzoku no Taiji begins very loud, and it only seems louder after listening to the last track. It's a real contrast.

This one has almost skat like vocals, and guitars that almost sound violin-esque at times.

I don't think I like this one as much as the others. Dare I say, perhaps it is too over-the-top. I know, I never thought I would say that. It's quite painful; not as easy to listen to as the others. You know, considering a lot of it is random notes.

Kinzoku no Taiji gets points for being unique, though.

The last track is T-Rex. Already I know that I'm going to be getting their three other albums. I hear they're still around, but they haven't released since 2004? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Similar to Kinzoku, T-Rex is a lot of jumbled notes, although halfway through I begin to really appreciate it.

However, I still feel the first half of the album is better overall.

5 out of 5.

I knew from the beginning this would get me. Fascinating, unique, original, raw art. I think I can guarantee no other band sounds even close to Bondage Fruit. I loved listening to every second of this album.

As promised, I am now providing download links.

Download

I'd recommend anyone who wants a truly different band to try this out. Even if you don't like it, you'll remember it. It leaves an impression.

BODY's "Flame"

Artist: BODY (Japan)

Album: Flame (1994)

Something in me doesn't have a good feeling.

But that's no different than any other review.

Track one is MY SELF, and I feel this prediction already coming true. What a boring guitar riff, oh God what a boring riff.

And the dealbreaker is always the vocals. And these vocals offer NOTHING. Typical. Bland. Boring.

But I didn't have my expectations high in the first place.

The second track is BABY CRAZY. Isn't there a BOOWY song under the same name?

(Nevermind, I'm thinking of Baby Action.)

Well, thank God it's not a cover. A band with so little talent would disgrace the great band BOOWY were.

Yes, I am already making such broad generalizations. I can tell this is not going to get much better. So, I'm going to keep my head.

Maybe.

HERESY is the third track. God damn it all, they're exploring their rebelious side.

This is honestly the worst song I have heard in a LONG time.

Do you know how much crap I have suffered through?

A lot.

This is an accomplishment. I mean WOW. HERESY is a big steamy pile of shit.

You would have to listen to it to even comprehend the awfulness of this.

Okay, okay, okay. UNFINISHED GAME will have to be a God damn masterpiece to redeem that last one.

Something in me doesn't have a good feeling.

...

It's better.

But there is some deep "whoa whoa, whoa whoa" that is almost comical.

You don't want your music to be funny unless you're trying. Honestly.

STILL MY LOVE is going to be a fucking ballad, I've prepared myself already. Do you see how I'm keeping my cool in this review?

....

Oh my God.

It sounds like fucking Shazna.

If you don't know who Shazna are, consider yourself lucky.

One of my most despised bands. Top 5, definitely.

Well, this sounds like them.

Meaning it sounds like someone vomiting a lame 90s ballad with bells out their asshole.

God, I'm not going to make it.

(deep breath) HOLD YOU SOFTLY starts out sounding strangely familiar.

Oh. Do you think it's because this band

SOUNDS LIKE EVERY OTHER FUCKING BAND OF ITS FUCKING GENRE?

GOD DAMN IT ALL.

Let's move on to the motherfucking seventh track, fucking I Believe...

I hate songs that end with an ellipsis. It's so annoying.

Especially because this song doesn't have an ounce of moodiness that would need an ellipsis.

Or any ounce of emotion.

Or originality.

Or talent.

Well, good news. Including this, only three more tracks to go. Other than that last paragraph, I've composed myself.

....

I just blacked out on my knee.

I swear to God, I just did. I'm not even joking.

That is how bored I am.

Bored to the passing out.

It's probably a sign I haven't eaten but fuck it, I'm blaming this band.

ETERNITY ~I love you forever~

Another thing I hate: Using unnecessary tildes. You are fucking misuses the tilde, STOP IT.

I also just hate the phrase "I love you forever", especially in music. Body are striking every wrong note they can with me. It's almost like they were created to anger me.

Oh... Oh my God.

DAY DREAM is the last track!

Hahaha! Yes!

I'm so happy, I'm not even going to listen to it!!

1 out of 5!!

I hate you, BODY! Get the fuck off my harddrive!

Bloodthirsty Butchers' "Bloodthirsty Butchers"

Artist: Bloodthirsty Butchers (Japan)

Album: Bloodthirsty Butchers (1990)

My God!

No updates since October 2nd?

Shame, Anna, shame.

To be fair, I lost my iPod, was focusing on my art, developed Carpal Tunnel syndrome and just forgot.

So, on with the show.

Bloodthirsty Butchers... I can't even imagine how hard they will try to be edgy.

Well, before making judgments, let's try out track one.

She's Break? Wow, spectacular English there.

And I'm surprised. They don't sound hardcore at all.

Oh my, the vocals. (It seems I always say that.)

Bad.

The instruments sound like an early Green Day album, but the vocals sound like one of those talentless punk singers of the 80s.

How unpleasant.

It's fairly bland, but maybe they have promise. Maybe. Doubt it, though.

Track two is I'm On Fire.

That would explain your singing, then! (buh-dum-chh)

If you couldn't tell, that was an attempt at humor. And a rimshot.

Well, the vocals are equally intolerable. Not much of a surprise.

Not to mention it's all so terribly boring.

Drop Out is the next track. I'm already beginning to feel lucky there are only 8 tracks.

Oh, look at this, look at this.

I took a quick peek at their Wikipedia page and apparently they are a "long-running legendary indie-rock and punk-rock band" and are "known for their distinct instrumental styles".

Apparently.

Not seeing much of that so far. Not seeing why they're legends, either. But, to be fair, pretty much all of the punk genre is crap.

Drop Out isn't as bad. "As bad" being key here.

I'm Blue has slightly better instruments, and even better vocals. I'd have to say this is the best so far, as much as that pains me. It's close to being listenable.

Regardless, it all is just so drab.

Silencer really just blends in with the others. Other than I'm Blue, this all kind of sounds like one long, boring, neverending song.

Earlier today, I tried the Ganzfeld effect, where you take away your sense of sight and hearing for several hours. I had a splitting headache and felt like I was about to snap. This is beginning to feel similar to that.

I swear to God, Six O'Clock AM starts off exactly like another song on this album. This is becoming tiresome.

His voice is frustrating me more and more as it goes on. Either he's getting worse or I'm losing my mind.

They really aren't painfully bad or anything and I know I'm probably giving that impression. This album just lacks any originality and effort.

Moving on.

Your Sad Story is just... ugh.

Is it even possible to tell these apart from each other?

Clash! Sky! is the final track. After this I can go back to listening to music that doesn't melt your brain with its complete disregard for uniqueness. Thank God.

Well, it's over 7 minutes and the singing is just terrible.

You know, fuck it. Rating.

2 out of 5.

Legends my ass. Good for a new band playing at local clubs, but critical acclaim? Totally undeserving.

Blankey Jet City's "Red Guitar and the Truth"

Artist: Blankey Jet City (Japan)
Album: Red Guitar and the Truth (1991)

You will have to pardon my lack of cursing in this review. I'm afraid I'm at school.
Oh hell with it. My teacher doesn't pay attention much anyway. Let's begin.

I'll admit it, I don't have much faith in this one. Blankey Jet City? They're a Japanese band from the early 90s, right? Retch.

Well, Track one is Cat Was Dead. Oh. Okay. So it sounds interesting? What is this? Huh. Peculiar. It has the same faux-fifties sound that Black Cats were going for, except it isn't... a failure? It sounds modern and interesting?
Oh wait. The vocals. I forgot. They're.... annoying. For most of these Japanese bands the vocals tend to ruin everything. I have no idea why, either. No, I am not biased towards Japanaese music. (cough)
The second he starts singing, it really goes downhill. Which is a shame because the guitars are absolutely fantastic. I mean fantastic. I'm actually angry at the vocalist right now. I could cuss my ass off right now, but--

Boku no Kokoro wo Torimodosu Tame ni... Again, the music itself is just great. I suppose the vocals aren't as obnoxious here. They're tolerable. They sound a little like Ryuichi from Luna Sea. Maybe. I don't know. The chorus just sounds so Luna Sea-esque. Hell, so is the guitar solo.

Track three is Mune ga Koware Sou. Here's hoping for the best.
At this point, the vocalist just needs to redeem himself and I'll be a-okay. But something in me doubts that will happen.
Sigh. What a loss.
Okay. I have something positive to say: this isn't the worst thing to come from this blog. Right? Right. Moving on.

Furyou Shounen no Uta...
At first... I was going to bitch about the vocals again. But you know what? I actually like them in this. Yeah, I said it. I said something positive for once.
I can't turn it up very loud, but from what I hear I rather like it.
I... like... it... ???
Dare I say it, this band has a pretty neat sound.

Track five is Texas. Well, I'm already relieved to hear it has no southern influences.
Either I'm becoming more tolerant or I didn't listen close enough, but the vocals aren't quite as bad as I thought. Either way, I was wrong, so fuck me.
Pretty cool solo, though.
If only it weren't so painfully... 90s Japan.

I must be confusing the poor reader. Oh, who am I kidding, who reads this anyhow?

Track six is Kouen. I really do love their oldies style. Refreshing, that's what it is.
Maybe I'll give this a better listen when I'm at home, because I really do like it despite all my complaints. Right now I just can't hear over some people talking to really listen to it in its entirety.

Now the singing in Gaadoreeru ni Suwari Nagara really sounds like Ryuichi. Take that as a good thing or a bad thing, because I'm undecided.
In fact, the vocals sound a lot like some vocalist in Free-Will at the time... In fact, were Blankey Jet City part of Free-Will?
Nnnnno, they were not. Toshiba and Polydor, apparently. And no, I don't know the vocalist or any of his work. I'm probably just going mad.

I think sometime I'll check out their other work. I just know that the vocals didn't change, but I feel that they have some serious potential. No, no, no, wait. They are good. There are things I would change, though.

I've listened to Ate no Nai Sekai and alas, have no lasting opinions.

Kurutta Asahi... Just... sigh. Oh well. It blends together with the rest of it. Yawn.

The last track is Mother. It better be good. Partly because class is almost over (yay, one period left), and because I feel I wasn't sufficiently wowed by Blankey Jet City.
I've noticed that the rockibilly aspect has been lost completely. The past couple songs have, I mean. And I miss it. This just sounds like a lot of punk bands. In the 90s. In Japan. Killer combination. But not really.
I'm not biased, I swear.

3 out of 5.
Sorry, you guys. You're good, just not good enough.

Black Shelter's "Awake/Nobody's Perfect"

Artist: Black Shelter (Japan)
Album: Awake/Nobody’s Perfect (2007)

Alrighty, short review here.

Um, starts out with Awake. I honestly think I downloaded this about three years ago when I was still listening to ~*~J-ROCK~*~.
So, without a doubt, it’s godawful. I can say that with confidence. Well, the majority of the damn genre is awful, so—
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, I’m pretty sure this is just “J-Rock”, not Visual-Kei. It has that boring-as-vanilla alternative sound rather than… well, the horrible V-Kei sound.
And yes, it has a female vocalist, which makes them SO SO UNIQUE!!!!

Nobody’s Perfect begins with….
“Nobody’s Perfect yeeahahh Nobody’s Perfect, its okay, don’t worry”.
God, just fucking kill me now. I would’ve eaten this up three years ago, but nowadays I just feel like gagging myself whenever I hear music like this.

Track three is (kanji)shii Hito. For the record, I think the kanji is “Ito”, which would make the title “Itoshii Hito”. Which translates to “The Most God Damn Cliché Song Title in Existence”.
There’s just really nothing to say. It’s so mediocre, it actually makes me angry.

Okay, okay, last song. I told you this was short.
This is Brave Girl. It sounds like it’s trying too hard to be edgy or dark or something. Good luck with that. While you attempt to do that, I’ll be over here wiping my computer of all traces of Black Shelter.

1 out of 5.
Just don’t even bother.

Black Cats' "Cream Soda Presents"

Artist: Black Cats (Japan)
Album: Cream Soda Presents (1981)

So, is it safe to assume that this is going to be some sort of faux-fifties band? I guess we’ll see. That could either be very good or very bad. It could be the next Stray Cats, or something godawful.

Well, Love Story sounds like a very cheesy, older bubblegum pop song. It’s pretty much one of the lamer songs I’ve heard in a while. Not really a huge fan of it, although the guitars are nice.

Kanashiki Teddy Boy is track two and holy shit I already like it better.
The guitars are fantastic, the bass is just excellent, but I’m not sure how to feel about the vocals. In fact, I really don’t like the vocals at all. They really just don’t fit well, and it kind of ruins it for me. The music itself is very fun, just the singing… it’s awfully annoying.

I’m counting on Jeannie, Jeannie, Jeannie to change my opinions.
Oh god, no. No, no, no, no. Those vocals are some of the worst I have ever heard. They really don’t work at all and they actually make me want to rage.
I don’t know, someone else might feel differently, but I think they’re intolerable, and I have a very high tolerance for bad singers (as I’ve said before). They kind of make everything fall apart. It sounds like a bastardization of rockabilly; a humiliation to the fifties. Well, not that bad, but close.

Ano Musume no Fanii Feisu… Well, his vocals are better, I guess. It still sounds like a failure to imitate Elvis or something, but hey, I’ll take anything. The song itself isn’t much special, though. There are so many other rockabilly-revival bands that are miles ahead of these guys, why even bother.
The background singer is substantially worse than the lead. I mean, he is just terrible. He sounds like fucking Dynamite Tommy from Color, my lord. And being compared to Tommy is basically like saying, “You’re a talentless singer, get the hell out”.
Even Color fans know that Tommy has one of the worst voices in major music history.
Oh, back to Black Cats. Yeah, they’re as bad as Color.

Cover Girl…. Ughhhhhh. They’re really pushing this 50s thing on me, aren’t they? That’s something we call, “Trying too hard”. I mean, I know that a lot of 50s music really did sound similar to this, but… Christ, try to make it enjoyable to a younger generation, too. Stray Cats really succeeded in that.
This is just so damn boring, though.
Not as bad, just yawn worthy.

I thought that track six, When, would be some kind of ballad, but it’s literally indistinguishable from Cover Girl. Really, you guys, you’re taking everything bad about 50s music and incorporating it into your music. Stop it.
Luckily for me, they also imitated the short song lengths.

Singapore Nights is hardly note worthy at all. I honest to God can’t tell these songs apart. I’m surprised at the complete lack of variety and creativity. It just sucks.

Well, so far, Drive Good sounds… slightly different? Okay, never mind. By about 50 seconds, it’s even worse than the others. Partly because of Dynamite Tommy’s twin or whatever. But mainly because this band is so devoid of all sense of originality.

Yume no Big Machine… Apart from the song title making no sense…
Sigh.
Just sigh.

Well, here is track 12 out of 14. At this point, I feel like hurting someone. Honestly, I feel like punching the next person I see, just because I can.

Track 13: I’m homicidal. The next person I see, I will kill. I can’t fucking take this damn band! It’s like Barbee Boys all over again! Oh god, why am I being forced to relive that hell!

Track 14: Now I feel suicidal. Just kill me now, I can’t listen to another whole track. The only thing keeping me going is the thought, “Yes!! This is the last track!!”

Okay, you know what. No. No no no no no. I’m not even going to try. Black Cats, the last track, is one of the worst things I’ve ever heard.

1 out of 5
Fuck this band, fuck me for even downloading it.

Bitch Boys's "Continental"

Hey, after a long delay, here I am again. School just started so I haven't had the insane amounts of free-time to work on this useless, time-consuming waste of life.
So, welcome back, me!

Artist: Bitch Boys (Sweden)
Album: Continental

Track one is Arena, which I have heard many times before. Right from the beginning, I have always loved it. It’s an excellent opening track, everything is just perfect. It’s strange that I’ve never actually listened to the rest of the album, isn’t it?
Well, Arena is a very electronic instrumental, with heavy bass and some punk influences. It’s an interesting sound, I hope the following 9 songs can compare to Arena.

Café Cherie is track two, and it’s significantly more punk than Arena, although it’s still very electronic.
Again, it’s excellent. The vocalist is actually pretty decent. With punk bands, vocalists usually throw me off and make me kind of sick. I seem to have a lot of luck with Swedish punk bands, though.
Enough of my rambling, I really like it. It’s not quite as unique sounding as Arena; it’s a bit more of a typical sound that you’ll hear. But, it’s not boring, and it’s very fun to just sit down and listen to.

Continental reminds me a little bit of the old Megaman music. Jesus Christ, I need to stop comparing music to old Super Nintendo games.
It’s a little bit repetitive at times, but it has the same feel as Arena, so of course I like it.

Track four is Die Bahnhof Café (another Café song?). It starts with a Middle Eastern sitar sound with some explosive drums following. It’s a very interesting song, especially the chorus, which I’m absolutely in love with. I think so far this is my favorite.

It’s My Life is a strange little electronic song with nearly unintelligible English. That’s really it. I don’t really know what to think, it’s just bizarre.

Following that is Krieg. The vocals seem much deeper here, is that just me?
Fuck, it sounds like Megaman music again. I promised I would stop, I promised I would stop.
Apparently I’ve already heard this song before, because it’s rated. It’s probably an acquired taste, I can imagine that not a lot of people would like this. I, being the person I am, love it.

Track seven is Lebensraum. It’s very sinister and dark, which is an interesting addition to the album. The album is very eclectic; there are very happy songs and... this, which is slightly terrifying.
Lebensraum is delightfully evil, it’s quite the song and it leaves a great impression.

One thing I’ve noticed about this band: I adore their drums and guitar. Okay, the bass is great, too.
The album suddenly got very ominous, Mayday is very dark. Maybe not as dark as Lebensraum, but it’s dark nonetheless. It’s pretty slow and sort of watery sounding (if that makes sense).
I wish I could say more about the song, but nothing really comes to mind.

Mille Baiser picks up the speed again, and isn’t nearly as dark as the last two tracks.
I don’t know if a “normal” person would enjoy the vocals, but someone, you know, used to them wouldn’t even notice.
No, no, no, I’m not badmouthing the vocalist. I’m pretty content with his singing.
I have to say, I haven’t enjoyed Mayday or Mille Baiser as much as the previous tracks…
Well, let’s see how Tango For Two delivers.

I’m not really impressed by it until the chorus. But the chorus is so fucking catchy that I really do love it. It’s a very strange song, it skips around in pacing a lot, I’m not sure how to explain it. But, I really like it.

4 out of 5
Part of me thought it is a 3 and ½, on second thought, I know that 4 is perfect. I’m sure I’d have some disagreements, but that’s what I think it deserves.
Fans of Swedish punk music will have some fun with this.

Holy crap, it's not a review.

Just for the hell of it, here is a list of the remaining bands. Yeah, it's just in MSPaint, it's pretty sloppy. Tell me f I fucked anything up regarding the band's name or their country.

The List

Yeah, this is going to take a while.
You might have noticed that some of those bands are fairly well known (like Dream Theater, Sugizo, Kamelot) and I because I haven’t heard much of their work, I feel inclined to listen to it, even if I may have more bias than usual because of them being mainstream.
Also, some of these bands I fancy quite a bit (like Sandii, JULLAN, Morrie). There are just some that I haven’t heard all their material, or haven’t learned all of it by heart.

Beni Tokage's "Keshi no Hana"

Artist: Beni Tokage (Japan)
Album: Keshi no Hana

Alright, so Kuroi Ningyou Dukai is very low quality, it sounds so drowned out. Um, I’m not sure what I would classify this as…
Because it’s obvious they weren’t very popular, I’m giving the vocalist some leeway. He’s not very good.
That whole song sounds a bit sloppy, but I don’t dislike it. I don’t really like it either, though. I nothing it. They have potential, so let’s just go to track two and see what they do.

Asakusa ni Kaero u is a lot slower, and again, I’m not sure what kind of music this is. It’s not weird or all that unique or anything, I’m just undecided.
You know, it’s another, “I don’t really have much of an opinion” song. They’re decent enough at their instruments, the songs are nice and the vocalist isn’t that bad.
What is this feeling? I feel so… neutral!!

Uh-oh, a live version. The song is called Sexus, let’s see what happens. Sadly, their live recordings are the same quality as their studio songs. Both sound like their underwater, though.
God, I really am at a loss for words. This is a first for me.

King Dam catches my interest more than the others, probably because it’s a bit darker. The others songs have been surprisingly peppy. I suppose I like this one more than the others?

Track five is New Life, and it really just doesn’t interest me at all. And the vocalist is really not good in this one. This is without a doubt the worst so far.

I wonder if anything will really wow me on this album? I wonder if I’ll even like any of the songs on this album?
Well, based on Rokkindo-ru, the album is getting progressively worse. I don’t like it at all. In fact, it very, very annoying. Next song.

Leningrad Spy Band, okay now! Maybe we’ll have something interesting here?
Well… I guess it is. More than the others, at least.
Because of the terrible sound quality, it’s all very piercing and kind of painful to listen to.

Go! Go! Takushi… What a cute, happy title. And I guess the song is cute, too… in its own special way.
Really, the only thing I like are the keyboards, they’re pretty adorable.

Rock Kurititsuku is… is…
Um, why does the vocalist sound like he’s choking? It’s almost comedic. Okay, the album has taken a turn for the worst. Or maybe I should say the vocalist has really taken a turn for the worst.
The music itself is nothing special, though.

Well, here’s the last track, Private Tooku. Well, luckily it’s an instrumental, which is exactly what the band should do with all their songs. Unfortunately, it’s not interesting, really.


2 out of 5.
It’s not that bad, but it’s certainly not good. I was a little torn on the score because it’s decent enough that I’m sure plenty of people would really like it, but I just think it deserves a 2.

Bellaphon's "Firefly"

Artist: Bellaphon (Japan)
Album: Firefly

The album beings with Jade, a very guitar heavy, breezy sounding instrumental. It’s pretty light hearted and happy, but it’s definitely not cheesy. I still have no idea what kind of band Bellaphon are, though. This song has a lot of different musical elements in it. Let’s just see what’s on the next track, I guess.
Oh, and yes, I do like it.

The second track is Le Petite Prince. Wow, what a precious title. I couldn’t think of something more sweet and cute than that.
It’s very dreamy sounding. In a way it reminds me of some of the music on my old N-64 games I used to play. Like, it has a somewhat midi feel to it, but not exactly.

Alright. This band continues to confuse me. This is definitely more rock oriented than the purely electronic Le Petite Prince. It has a Spanish sounding guitar, electric guitar, various synths, piano… Very eclectic. Yes, that’s the perfect word for Mistral, the third track. It’s most certainly fun to listen to such an eclectic song.
I absolutely adore it. And I mean adore. Pure adoration.
If I didn’t mention before, all the tracks have been instrumentals. I’m getting the feeling the other five tracks won’t be featuring vocals either.

You confuse me yet again, Bellaphon. Belle du Jour is a minute long, classical piano piece. It’s very beautiful, a part of me wants it to be longer.
But we must press onward.

The first thing I notice about Vent du Midi is the length: it’s almost 10 minutes long (!). And oh dear god, am I confused! What kind of band are they? What would I classify this as when they’re jumping all over the place!
Okay, I love this. I love this so much. Every song is so unique, and my confusion feels wonderful. They’re very diverse and I think that they’re wide range of genres is impressive, to say the least. Vent du Midi, like the others, is fantastic. At 4:30 it even features woodwinds. Fucking woodwinds. I have to say that it gets amazing after that point. I think this is going to become a favorite of mine. I just have no complaints at all.
And if you’re wondering, yes, I did listen to all 9 minutes 45 seconds without any other distractions.

Following that is another long song, Evros. It’s 45 seconds shorter than Vent du Midi, but let’s see if I’ll like it enough to sit through all of it like I did with the last track.
For some reason it reminds me a tiny bit of Final Fantasy. Am I a nerd for even saying that? That along with my Nintendo 64 comment earlier, yes, I am.
I would think that a fan of the old 90s midi music would love this. And, as a fan of 90s midi music, I love this.
Evros is very guitar heavy, at least from the 4 minutes I’ve heard so far. Now it’s slowing a bit and reminding me a lot of Final Fantasy now (I promise I’ll stop soon). It gains speed again at the 5 minute mark, although it definitely isn’t a fast song. Oh, and I love the keyboard solo at around 5:30. Oh, yes I do.
I don’t normally say this, but this band is very, very talented. I would love to see them working on a song, and to see them write to see how they work.

The seventh track is Firefly. I’m very curious what they’ll do with this song, it seems so unpredictable.
!!
Okay, I see. Firefly is the longest so far at almost 13 minutes. Now I see why this album only has eight tracks. Considering that Art of Life, a 28 minute song, is a favorite of mine, I’m not really bothered by such long tracks provided that they stay interesting throughout all of it. Here’s to hoping Firefly can satisfy that.
So far, 2 minutes, 30 seconds in, it’s very keyboard heavy. I’m looking forward to the rest of this song. Wow, that’s something you don’t hear a lot of this blog…
Really, I just have so much respect to any band that can create songs this long. It takes a lot of creativity and talent, especially to create interesting material that length.
At 5 minutes, 30 seconds, it takes a dramatic turn with very slow keyboards, guitar and birds chirping.
At 8:30, it turns to lounge music!... I really do adore this, it’s so unpredictable and original. I’m sorry that I don’t have much to say, I’ve just been listening intently this whole time.

The last track is the 7 minute Labyrinth. It seems so small in comparison, doesn’t it? Well, it feels much more explosive than the others, if that makes sense. Which is great to end an album on, in my opinion.
This is so predictable of me, but it’s superb. Dare I say, at 2:15, it’s orgasmic. Crude, I know, but that’s the only way I feel I can describe it. It’s a breath-taking way to end the album, it really brings it to a final and complete close, leaving me feeling very happy that I took the time to listen.
Let’s end this review, you must be tired of me raving about this like some fanboy. Fangirl, actually.


Do I even need to say it?

5 out of 5.
Excellent, fantastic, amaing, fascinating, unique and original. I know it might not be everyone’s “thing”, but it’s exactly all those adjectives above to me. I would recommend that anyone and everyone give it a try, even just once. I love this record, and I enjoyed every last second of it.
Considering that I have never heard of this band before listening, I’ll say that they’re underappreciated. Call me an idiot if they’re actually very popular and I just didn’t know.

Edit: The genre is progressive rock, which explains the long track lengths. I have no idea why I was having such trouble classifying it.

Beatniks's "Exitentialism"

Artist: Beatniks (Japan)
Album: Exitentialism (1997)

The first track is Le Sang de Poete, which is just a synth-y instrumental opening with someone saying “le sang de poete” over and over. Let’s see how the next track is. Like I said in the last post, if this band isn’t good, I’m going to lose my mind. After Barbee Boys, I really need something uplifting.

No Way Out. That’s a very uplifting title... Maybe uplifting wasn’t the right word choice on my part.
But, this raises my spirits. I have no complaints so far, I really love the sound of it all. There’s a lot of layers and it blends together very well. The instruments are good, the vocalist is really great and it’s very pleasing to listen to. Okay, so the “great vocals” is debatable, but hell, I adore it.
In short, I love this song. See, Barbee Boys? This is how you make interesting music!

Track three is Ark Diamant, and it is a bit darker, and definitely not lacking the excellence of No Way Out. Again, I love everything about it, especially the drums. For some reason, they really catch me.
Another amazing track, hopefully the rest of the album will follow this trend. Maybe Beatniks will join Apryl Fool as the second five star album on this blog? Let’s wait and see, I suppose.
It seems that these songs are going to be ones I’ll like more and more as I listen to them. Don’t ask how I can tell, but I just can. And considering how much I love this already, I wonder how I’ll feel in a month.

Now and Then starts out much slower than the previous three tracks. I mean, with a title like that, what would you expect?
I want to compare this to some other artist, it’s one the tip of my tongue, but… hell, I can’t think of it!... Something about the vocalist sounds so much like someone.
Oh well, I’ll never come up with a name.

The fifth track of the album is Loopy. I wonder if it will be druggy or off-putting or something to that degree?
So far, it definitely is off-putting. I’m not sure if I fully understand it. It sounds like a bunch of sounds scrambled together in one mass. Was that a goose I heard? Yeah, yeah, I wouldn’t want to listen to this at night. It’s really odd.

Following that slightly disturbing track is Une Femme N’est Pas un Homme.
…. David Sylvian! That’s who the vocalist (kind of) sounds like! I don’t know why I didn’t realize it on Now and Then, but oh well.
Well, this is definitely more light hearted than Loopy, although it still feels a little bit sinister, haha.

Mirroris immediately catches my attention. The high-pitched plucking on the guitar sounds really neat, if not painful.
What I like about all these songs is that not one section of the song is entirely the same as the other sections. It’s very easy to just sit down and listen to the album like I’m doing because of that. I don’t feel like I’m getting bored with any of it, actually.

Track eight, Le Robinet is delightfully bouncy sounding.
As I said before, this band uses so many layers, so listening to it is a unique experience. It’s not like many other bands, but at the same time, it’s not unbelievably fucked up (I’m looking at you, After Dinner and Aunt Sally).

Awww, the ninth (out of ten) track. I feel kind of sad now that there’s not much more left.
Ahhh.. Well, it’s called L’toile de Mer. It’s very odd, I’m not entirely sure if it’s up beat or very dark. While it’s not my favorite of the tracks on the album, I still enjoy listening to it.
The chorus is quite fun, though. But then immediately afterwards, it’s pretty depressing sounding. Hmm.

Okay, the last track, Inevitable. Again, not my favorite of the album, but it’s still great.

4 and ½ out of 5.
I know, not quite 5, but I round up when I tag, so this will be tagged as a 5 out of 5. Congratulations, Beatniks! Join Apryl Fool, I’ll make you a pedestal or something like that.
Although I absolutely adore this album, and everything is really amazing, I felt that 4 ½ was more fitting for some reason. I can’t really tell you why, just listen to the album yourself. Which I recommend you do! It’s really excellent.

Looks like we have Bellaphon coming up. Please dazzle me like Beatniks have.

Edit: I looked up some info: Apparently Beatniks were a band formed by Yukihiro Takahashi (YMO) a nd Keiichi Suzuki (Moonriders), which makes a lot of sense. It really sounds like it on second listen.

Barbee Boys's "BLACK LIST", "Listen! Barbee Boys 4" and "3rd. Break"

Artist: Barbee Boys (Japan)
Album: BLACK LIST (1988)

Oh God. The first tracks I see are “C’mon, Let’s Go!” and Blue Blue Rose”. This band is an early 1990s Visual-Kei band, aren’t they? I guess we’ll see.

Oohhh boy, C’mon, Let’s Go! is already a charm… There’s a fucking duet between a man and a woman vocalist. Cheesiness factor 12. What the hell was I expecting from a band named “Barbee Boys” anyhow? Something not completely lame and embarrassing to the human race? Haha, how silly of me.

Alrighty, Blue Blue Rose… At the very least it’s darker. It’s not quite as bad, it might be better if the vocalist didn’t sound like such a little pussy.
The guitar is kind of great, though. That’s what sad about it all. It has the potential to be really good, but there’s just tiny little things holding it back. And the result somehow is very… not good.
I have the feeling this will be the best this band has to offer, though.

(Still have no internet, and there’s damn kana in the title again. Correct me if I’m wrong.)
Demo?! Shou ga nai suffers the same problems as Blue Blue Rose. The guitars? Good. The vocals? Stupid and annoying and generally just a bad idea. Honestly, give me the guitar tracks from this album and I’d be perfectly happy. It’s everything else that I don’t like.
At least I don’t think it’s Visual-Kei.

Blahblahkanji de DANCE is… oh come on, cut it out with that damn duet. Oh Christ, they growled when they said “kirai, kirai”. How fucking lame is that?! They’re just saying a verb twice, over and over again! The stupidity is overwhelming!!
Okay, the brass instrument solo (don’t know what it is) is pretty cool, and other than the singing, I really like it. But the singing just hits you in the face. It’s just not good.
I’ve figured it out! The vocalists think they’re in a pop-rock band, but wandered into a dark, rock bands jam session, and they happened to accidentally record it. And BLACK LIST was born.

(kanji) no (kanji) de ma batakuo (I totally fucked up that title, apologies) is probably the most tolerable, I guess.
Okay, okay, fine, I’ll admit it! Their use of brass instruments for their solos rather than the typical guitar is really great! Just--- ahh! This is so depressing! So much could be fixed, so easily!...

(I can’t read a single character of the title) already sounds cheese-tastic. Sounds like this is the obligatory ballad of the album, huh? Great. Just what this band needs: focus on the vocalist.
Oh god, he just said, “face to face” at the end of his verse. I think I’m going to be sick.
The sad thing is that the female vocalist could work in some kind of hard rock band if she tweaked it a little. But there’s just something completely “off”. There’s no hope for the man, though.

(kanji) cryin’ on the beach… Crying on the beach, awesome. Honestly, this one is almost indistinguishable from the last song I heard. At one point I checked my iPod to see if I accidentally selected the wrong song.
This is so bland. It’s as interesting as vanilla yogurt. Plain vanilla, without any fruit or sprinkles or whatever you would put on yogurt.

Mo yada! is so… so…
Ahhhhhhhh!!
I think the album is getting worse. It’s lost any edge it once had, even if that “edginess” was hidden under a thick layer of lame.

At least MIDNIGHT CALL sounds pretty interesting. Okay, nevermind. I swear, the second they start singing, I immediately despise it. These two are some of the most unlikeable vocalists I’ve ever heard. It’s not that they’re bad singers or anything, they’re just pretentious and annoying.

(kanji) sa nai might be dark, based on this beginning. Oh, who am I kidding? It’s just going to suck like the others.
Really, it just confuses me. The whole album has confused me so far. I just don’t get the vocals at all. I realize that my constant complaints about that is getting annoying, but I just can’t get over it. It’s so bizarre.

I just want this to be over once and for all.
So (kanji)keru mo n ka, what do you have for me? Obviously nothing, it sounds exactly like the others. Can’t you put some effort into this, Barbee Boys?

Oh thank god, the last track. It’s all in Katakana, and I can’t read it, but maybe that’s for the best.
You know what? Fuck it. Just end this hell.

1 and ½ out of 5.
I think I’ve said it all.

… What’s that?
What?
What?
WHAT?!

I have two more fucking albums by Barbee Boys?!?
There really is no God.



Album: Listen! Barbee Boys 4

Aww, that’s sad. They’re begging me to listen to this one. Just look at the title. Aww.

Oh? Hachi awase no (kana) sounds really, really cool.
….
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!
Why didn’t they replace the vocalists?! Whyyyyyyyyy?
It seems that the second those damn vocals come on, the instruments stop being… good. I don’t know how to explain it, but this is one of the cases where the singing literally ruins the music.

(kanji)ita mama de listen to me (ORIGINAL MIX) is track two. Again, they’re trying to keep me listening. That’s so pitiful, Barbee Boys. If you want people to keep listening, kick those vocalists out!

Dear Wagamama Eirian… Did he just say “Juicy eyes, rosy face”? What the hell? Well, the woman will just repeat him, so maybe I can see if they really did. I hope not.
Somehow, this is even less interesting than the others. It’s like they aren’t even trying..

Gomen Nasai is track four. See? See? They’re finally apologizing to me for the things I’ve had to endure (gomen nasai means “sorry” in Japanese for the stupid and uninformed. Oh, you know I’m just kidding).

Onna gitsune on the run (ORIGINAL “BIG BOWL” VERSION) is just…
The album is getting progressively worse as time goes on. By this point they’re really aren’t any redeeming qualities. It’s just a steaming pile of 90s crap.

Waai Waai Wai starts with that saxophone. That’s getting pretty annoying by this point.
And “Waai Waai Wai” is what I’ve been saying this entire time. “Waai Waai Wai didn’t they kick them out?! Waai Waai Wai were they signed?!”

(kanji) de (kanji) ru Papa he no Tegami really is just no different from the others. It’s track seven. That’s it. That’s all it has going for it.
It’s pretty damn lazy the chorus is just them repeating the title twice. Nice going, Barbee Boys.

(kanji) no (kanji) is just about as unique as Aikawa Nanase’s “R.U.O.K.?!”. (It’s in the tags, find it yourself.)

Noisy is going to sound identical to the others; I know that even before the thing starts. And look at that! It does!
To fans of Barbee Boys out there: Are you honestly able to tell the difference between these songs? If so, how?! It just floors me.

Kuchi ni (kana)yakku is so boring, I let the entire song go by without me noticing. I was trying to figure out that one kana and just let it slip by. Well, that doesn’t upset me in the slightest.

The last track! The last fucking track! The last fucking track!! I’m so much closer to never having to listen to this damn band again. So close. But, I still have another album. Please god, let it be a single, a maxi-single… Even a mini-album! I can’t sit through another full length album by these people!

1 out of 5.
This is somehow worse than the last album. The only good quality is that the first track has really amazing instruments. If only the vocalists didn’t have to ruin everything in their wake.

Now, let’s see the track number on the last of Barbee Boys album I own… Oh, let it be short, let it be short, let it be short, big money, big money, big money, whammy!
Huh? Oh, the track number, right.

…
…
Fuck.
It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. There’s only nine tracks.
Oh, I’m going insane.


Album: 3rd. Break

Well, I’ve lost all hope. The first track sounds exactly like everything else this poor excuse for a band has shat out of its uncreative intestines. (What, was that too descriptive?)
And you know that they had to be at least mildly popular if they made three albums.
A fanbase… Ohh, I long to know what the Barbee Boys fandom is like.

Don namon dai (kana) really does nothing to bring some variety, I see. I have the greatest urge to just slap the hell out of this band and scold them for what they’ve done.

Haya Mattara iya Daze (I think I’m getting worse at deciphering these titles) seems to try to make it edgier or something. I don’t know, it’s just bad. Bad, bad, bad. I hate this band so much, they are easily one of the unlikeable bands I’ve ever heard. I just get the overwhelming feeling that they’re pretentious dicks. Kind of the same feeling I get when I listen to U2, except that I know they’re pretentious dicks.

Track four is terrible, too.

Track five is amazing!
Wouldn’t you be surprised if I said something like that? Yeah, except I’m not going to. Track five is awful as well.

Okay, you know what? Enough. Just fucking enough. I hate this band, I hate everything about this god damn band and I hope I never am forced to listen to it again. I am deleting every last speck of Barbee Boys off my hard drive and the second I hear their music again, I am going to have a nervous breakdown. If I hear one millisecond of their music from this point on, you will find me half naked on the toilet eating crayons and naming my eye-crud.
FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCCKKKK.

0 out of 5.
I was merciful on the first two albums, but at this point, no pity. Zero zero zero zero zero. No, this is absolute zero out of five. Nothing is lower, it’s absolute zero.

Beatniks are my next review. I have some faith in them, so let’s hope for the best. After this torture, I need something quality.
If Beatniks don’t deliver, I’m going to lose it.

Bad Baby's "Bad Baby"

Artist: Bad Baby
Album: Bad Baby

Well, right off the bat, I can tell this is going to be very, very dark. So far, A Dream Within a Dream has my attention, let’s just see where it goes from here.
Okay, good, good. Nice vocals, interesting sound, good instruments. Maybe we have a winner on here for once.
It’s deliciously dark. That’s a good way to put it, I guess. What would this be classified as? Positive punk, maybe. That’s a plus, because I fucking love positive punk. (Have you noticed that I’m cussing more and more as the blog goes on?)

The second track is Broken-Hearted. Already I’m loving Bad Baby’s sound, it’s very bass heavy, which usually gets my approval. I only wish there wasn’t the crackle and pops of a dirty record, although I suppose it gives it charm. I guess.
I really love the vocalist; his voice is very smooth and haunting, and the backing vocals are pretty neat too.

Salvation Army seems like it’s going to be a bit more light-hearted than the last two. By about 1:30, it starts to pick up pace and end my thoughts of it being light.
Well, it’s pretty fascinating. Salvation Army seems to be the kind of song I could listen to for days on end without getting bored. I wouldn’t listen to it for several days, but it’s not my last choice. It’s just very interesting. And don’t take interesting as “it’s bad, but unique”. It’s good and unique.

Ahh, more bass. And a really cool keyboard. Nice.
Promenade is the first song not in English, and I think it flows better this way. I hate saying this all the time, but it’s just intriguing. (haha) The whole genre is very open-ended, you won’t find too many bands that sound exactly like each other in this genre. That’s just my opinion, of course. Feel free to tell me about how I know nothing.

Track five is Glasshouses. The song doesn’t interest me as much as the others, but I have to say that the female vocals that come in around the 3 minute mark are positively lovely. Despite that, I definitely won’t forget it easily.
That’s the wonderful thing: all the songs sound different! After reviewing crap like Azz, this is a relief!

Mont Blanc is a very slow paced instrumental. I have to say, the guitars are fantastic, and the whole song leaves an impression on you. At first I was a little unsure, but halfway through I began to realize that it’s pretty incredible.

(Out of the Frying Pan) Into the Fire takes a while to gain speed, but it keeps me wanting to know what’s ahead. I don’t feel like skipping tracks because I’m getting bored with it, you know?
It’s another instrumental like Mont Blanc, but it’s very easy to sit down and listen to. I’m not trying to say that all instrumentals are painful or anything of the sort. I just think it takes skill to make a purely instrumental song interesting throughout the entire track.

Okay, so the last track is Cry Baby Cry. I have to say, this may be a favorite of mine on the record. All of it works so well, and not to mention they bring in that wonderful female vocalist again. All of it is perfect, I adore it. What an ending.

4 out of 5.
It’s a definite must listen for fans of goth music in the early 80s, although it isn’t up to par with the masters or anything, of course. I wouldn’t say that it’s revolutionary for the genre, but it definitely is a great listen.

Azz's "Take it & Easy"

(The next 7 reviews were done in the middle of nowhere without any internet, so there will be edits at the end of them, probably.)

Artist: Azz (Japan)
Album: Take it & Easy

Haha, look at that. Our last review of a fucking band that starts with A. Great.
Unfortunately, I’m writing this on the road to Spokane (AKA Hell) on a barely functioning laptop, so the noise of the road might drown out some of the music I’m hearing. Bear with me here.

Anyway anyway.

If I’m not mistaken, a member of AURA is in this band? Was it the drummer, KoReds? I can’t remember and don’t have internet to check. Moving on.

Junky Business is the first track, and the only track I have heard before. I loved it a year and a half ago, probably just because it features fucking brass instruments. I used to have a real boner for brass, you know. Oh, the actual song. Well, it has some pretty funky 70s esque guitar, a horn section and one obnoxious vocalist. Dear lord, he is annoying. My tastes in music were very awful a year and a half ago, apparently. Ch-rist.

Reminder: I have no internet. And this song is written in kana and kanji. So, um…Para o (kanji) ka seyou (I tried my best) does little to improve the singing. I realize that this band isn’t being entirely serious (I’d be embarrassed if they were), but that doesn’t excuse annoying music. It’s almost scarily peppy. I feel slightly ill.

Oh god, Love Song. It’s going to be stupid. It is stupid, what a surprise. It sounds like he’s fucking hiccupping. “A-I shi-te-mooo”. Maybe he knows Phew. Seriously, stop repeating “aishitemo”, it’s sounds so terrible.

Sweet Rain… Let’s see how my theory of everything “rain” being some kind of ballad. Well, so far so good for that, it’s slower.. It’s just… (siiiigh) I hope this band has something else to fall back on, because maybe music isn’t their thing. Regardless of whether of not you deserve it, if people buy your material, you’re a success. Were Azz a success? For the sake of my sanity, I kind of hope not. (Sorry Azz fans, if you exist out there.) Yeah, there are worse bands/artists out there that actually sell (looking at you, ICP), but Azz are in that group, too.

Ano (kanji) ka (kanji) demo (kanji)iyou ni. Catchy title when you can only read 100 kanji. I think... I think this band is somehow more annoying than most other 90s V-kei ish music. I don’t know if they’re V-kei or 90s, but it sounds like it. Don’t give me that “Visual-Kei is a clothing style, not a musical genre, you’re ignorant!” because it does have a sound all its own. A tired, overrated, no-different-from-American-music sound. I apologize, but I say what I want! Honestly, this is godawful. I can’t stand it. I feel slightly homicidal after listening to this song.

(kanji) onna ga (kanji) o mitai (kanjikanji) ni (Hey, I knew some of the kanji that time) sounds less similar than the other ones, thank God. It has some kind of 60s feel to it, or something, I don’t know. My brain is fried, partly because our car has no air conditioning, and because of this mind-numbing music. I’m just dumbfounded that no one in the studio told them, “Hey. Stop that. You’re embarrassing us all.”

1 out of 5.
Luckily for me, it was a mini-album. Unluckily for me, it was a very bad mini-album. Stay away, please just stay away from this record.

Oh my, there’s a tough biker in front of us wearing sandals and socks. That’s so hardcore of you, random biker. Rock on.

Next up is Bad Baby, the first non-Japanese review! Yaaaaay! I’m so fucking excited! I might be reviewing last year’s TOKYO DARK CASTLE sometime, too. Looking forward to that, to say the least.

Edit: And yes, I did come back to listen to the album once I was off the road without all that background noise. It sounds even worse.
Edit 2: And no, I couldn't find any answers to my questions.

AZRAEL's "King of the Steely Nation"

Artist: AZRAEL (Japan)
Album: King of the Steely Nation (2000)

Oh wow, I can already tell this is going to be some sort of power metal. Que the dragons and Dargor, the Shadowlord of the Black Mountain (if you know what band that's a reference to, you are a fucking nerd).

Knight in the Night.
Knight in the Night.
My brain... is broken. What a pun. Oh, what a pun. What a fantastic pun, even for power metal standards.
Dear god.

Don't get me wrong, I adore power metal, I always have. Rhapsody, Dragonland, ARK STORM... I eat this shit up. I love dragons and orbs and wizards and shit.
Typical of Japanese power metal, the vocals are in English. Incomprehensible, unintelligible English.
Typical of most power metal, it sounds similar to everything else in the genre. Don't even try to distinguish between power metal bands. It's pretty hard sometimes.
So, Behind the Mask falls into that rut. It's pretty good, but it's not great or anything. The guitar solo was pretty badass, though.We
By the way, Behind the Mask is a Yellow Magic Orchestra song, you guys. You got me all confused because I'm an idiot. My first thought was, "OH MY, they did a cover of YMO?!".

Track three is Beyond the Wall. Ohhh, I see: "Behind the mask, beyond the wall"... Maybe I don't see.
Well, it has the same problem as Behind the Mask. It just doesn't hold up compared to the others. There are many other bands that sound like this, but are much better. They aren't really unique enough for me to truly like, even if they do happen to be rather good.

Well, King of the Steely Nation better be great if the album is named after it.
....
Sorry, it just doesn't cut it. I'm going to forget these tracks the second I press the next button on my iPod. It's just the sad truth, AZRAEL.

Hold on to the Young Love sounds like some upbeat 90s theme song... My god, no, AZRAEL, no... It's just embarrassing. Stop this, stop this right now.
Wait, I can stop it myself. Next!!

Sorry, I couldn't take more of that.
Shadowdancer follows up that gem. It's... I just don't know what to say. All the tracks blend into each other, and I get bored with albums like these.
The keyboards are awfully neat, though.

Track whatever I lost track is Burning Down. It starts with piano. Oh god, oh god, don't be a sappy ballad. You already got enough embarrassment from Hold on to the Young Love.
Oh Christ, this is even more shameful. It's not good. It's really lame. Yes, I know that power metal in general is lame, but power ballads? Come on. Try to out cheese that. You can't.

Okay, so that was kind of painful. Lethal Lover starts with that cool keyboard that I like. Good, good. Except that it fucking sounds the same as all the others! Fuuuuck.
(Are you noticing that I'm getting less and less sympathetic as the albums drags on?)
The falsetto in the chorus is good. There, a compliment.

Break the Ice... I sat here for a while trying to think of some witty joke to go along with that, but I just can't. My mind is so numb. Before I knew it, the song was over.

Talking Your Heart already has a flaw, right from the start: The title makes no sense. But, English isn't their first language, so I'd be a dick to criticize that. I really wish these bands would just suck it up and sing in Japanese. Yeah, it's not as "hip", I guess, but I'm sure the lyrics would be much better. If I could understand this, I'm sure the lyrics aren't top of the line. You know, I'm just being brutally honest here.
And you see that? I'm so bored at this point that I forgot to even listen to the damn song. It's a little obnoxious from what I heard.

Oh dear, there is a God. Close to the Soul is the last track. At one point, I began worrying, "Is there an end to this fresh hell?".
(It's not that bad, I just love being an asshole.)
What can I say? It's really just jghhguhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

hgggggggggggg

Huh, what? Oh hell, it seems like I fell asleep.. Well, at least it's over.

2 out of 5.
It seems awfully generous after all my complaints, doesn't it? Well, in a technical sense, this album is quite good. It's just completely stale and feels like it's constraining itself to just one sound. And that sound is uninteresting. Sorry, AZRAEL.

AUSHVITZ's "Akarui"

Artist: AUSHVITZ (Japan)
Album: Akarui

Well, here is a four track sort of mini-album, so it should go quickly. Awesome.

Track one's title is Where we go, and--- well, it's only about a minute long, and it's really not much. Make that a three track mini-album. Or would that be a single? Hell if I know.

Okay, looks like Homurabi is very heavy. Kind of unexpected after that slow opening, but pretty expected considering their band name.
It's nothing really special. Apparently Syu from Galneryus is in this band, so that scores a few points, but regardless... eh.

Akarui confuses me again. What's with the freakishly heavy song sandwiched between these tear-jerkers? Well, at least it's variety. The drums sound so terribly dull, though. Yes, I'm complaining about the drums of all things. Not how incredibly cheesy and cliche the entire fucking song is. Honestly, this really just doesn't stand out. I would never be able to pick this out of a group of other V-Kei artists and say, "That's AUSHVITZ." They don't have their own sound, they're awfully unoriginal. That's usually when I say, "Why am I listening to this then?".
Not to mention the vocals sound so awkwardly paced at some parts.

Koukousoku is the last track of this maxi-single (yes, I finally remembered the term). They really just don't wow me, sorry. His auto-tune voice at the verses, the tired drums, the boring guitar... And it really just feels like it's trying to hard.
Syu does continue to impress me though. Listen to that guitar solo! Go, Syu, go! You're the only redeeming quality of this band, flaunt it! Yeah!

2 out of 5.
You know, it's not bad. Typical ~*~JAY-RAWK~*~ people would probably eat this up. I just find it rather
booooooriiiiinngg.
Next band. I need some sparkle, some pizazz, some wow factor. Can AZRAEL give me that? Stay tuned. (Yes, I do enjoy being lame. It's quite fun.)

Aunt Sally's "Aunt Sally"

Artist: Aunt Sally (Japan)
Album: Aunt Sally

I don't know if I've been dreading this review or looking forward to it..
I know a bit about Aunt Sally. I've heard a little of their work. It's weird. So, I know what I'm getting into by reviewing this.
Basically, they were a Japanese punk band in the late 70s. Anyhoo, let's start the review.

Track one is Aunt Sally. Aunt Sally's track "Aunt Sally" from the album Aunt Sally. Wow.
Well, it starts off normal, I guess. Um, now it just sounds like random stabs on the guitar. It's kind of painful to listen to, actually. And here is Phew on vocals. God, she is just awful. But, that's to be expected.
Is this even music? I can't tell you how confused I am right now. My god, it's 6 and a half minutes, too. Is it like this throughout the whole song?!... To be honest, I don't really get it.

Kagami begins with someone who is very bad at whistling... Then it goes into this cheery little tune, where Phew begins singing, "Dododo da dododo da dododo da doo dah". I kind of like it. Am I insane?

Sameta Kajiba De deems a hell of a lot darker than the last track. It feels very surreal. Again, I really like this one. I just don't know what the hell was up with that first track. Maybe I should have given Aunt Sally a second chance all this time. See, I heard the first track a long while back and fled, never to return. Now, I'm back to them. And I like it. I... like... it?

The fourth track, Hi Ga Kuchite really shows us how terrible of a vocalist Phew is. Really, the girl can't sing. But, that just makes it creepy and unique. I guess.
Um. So that was strange. Next track.

Subete Urimono starts with massive amounts of bass, funky keyboards and frantic singing. I actually don't know if I like it or hate it. I'm leaning towards "love it". Especially when they just start spouting nonsense at the halfway mark. To say the least, this is one to remember.

After such a chaotic track, they probably are going to follow up with something a bit slower? Well, I guess Essay is slower. It's really just odd. And hey, there are those keyboards again. I like those. Keep those in your songs, Aunt Sally.
The keyboards in the background kind of sounds like the skating level in California Games for the Sega Genesis...

I Was Chosen is all in English (I think?). Christ, I can't understand a word, haha!
I really like it. Like After Dinner, this must be brain wash.
Actually, if you like After Dinner, I would give Aunt Sally a try. They fall into the same category of "this is so fucking weird, what am I listening to".

Uh-huh. Tenki sounds like it will make some sense? Please do, I'm so confused right now.
Really, it is the most contemporary of the whole record so far. Of course, it's only 48 seconds of normal until the next track.

I wonder why all their songs are so damn short? Well, here's Frank Ni. I'm getting the feeling that their guitarist doesn't even know how to play his damn instrument. Not to mention Phew sounds like she's hiccuping every couple seconds.
I'm painting a bad picture. It's not necessary terrible or anything, it's just... I don't understand most of it. It's so odd that my mind can't handle it, I guess.

Speaking of confusion, here's Muyu no Shounen. It's just random guitar sounds with Phew singing very lowly for a minute.

Alrighty, the last track is Lorelei. Somehow her voice is worse in this track than the others. She's slurring, for Christ's sake!...
Sigh. My mind is blown.

3 out of 5.
I enjoyed listening to it, definitely. I'd recommend it just because you'll never hear anything like it. I can't say it's necessarily good music, but it's really interesting. A punk fan would probably be very interested in this album, I think.

Audio Active's "Tokyo Space Cowboys"

Artist: Audio Active (Japan)
Album: Tokyo Space Cowboys

Auditory Nerve Declaration...
"Hello everyone. We are Audio Active"
Well, hello Audio Active.
"from the outer space"
Oh, okay, that's cool, I guess...
"This is a first time for us.."
Uh-oh.
"to have some sound experiences.."
What?
"in the earth."
Okay, okay, you're in space, I have realized that.
There's a lot more of commentary after that, but whatever. He tells me to turn the volume up to maximum and that a lot of stuff will happen to me. He sounds really high.

Well, anyway. Track two is Space Children. It sounds just like how I expected, very.. martian-like. Wait, what the fuck? Those are some interesting vocals. Don't know how I feel so far... It's kind of synth-funk, if that makes sense... Probably not. I'm a bit bored by the 2 minute mark, but luckily the vocals come in by this time. They kind of annoy me, it sounds like Japanese guys trying ever so hard to sound black. But, maybe that's what they're going for. Either way, it's interesting, to say the least. I'd probably appreciate it a lot more if I were high.

Burning of the Midnight Lamp... I'm getting the feeling that this band is very mellow and druggy. Very. To be honest, I'm not too big on the Bob Marley fad and I don't understand drugs, so maybe that's why I can't fully appreciate it. (haha) It just is getting a little boring right now.

Track four is Free the Marijuana. I wonder what this song is about? Ohh, I can't even imagine.
Again, it's very reggae. I don't really like reggae.
(And I guess I agree with the song, we should legalize it.. But, my political opinions don't matter, this is a music review blog! I use that loosely, though.)
It's good, just not my "thing".

Auditory Nerve Dub Part 2...
....No, I'm not turning the volume up higher, stop asking me! You can't turn volume up to outer space, how high are you?!
Oh my god, I understand that you are Audio Active from outer space!! Honestly, I'm sensing some pretension from this band, maybe.

Okay, okay, Ala-Mecka-Bickally Dub. That's an awfully strange title, maybe the song will be the same. Well, it seems like they're throwing in more funk in here. I suppose that's nice. But, again, it gets kind of boring. It kind of feels like they could do more with it. In fact, this song gets kind of obnoxious after about 2 minutes.

Alarm Alarm... Ahhh, I'm getting kind of tired, to tell you the truth. It's just a bit too mellow for me to listen to this time of night (yes, 11:33 PM is the time I get sleepy, shut up).
I mean... ah. I don't have many opinions about it. I think reggae is kind of annoying, so naturally I won't like this much. I like their songs that have more techno influences more.

Well, The Giants Garden has a story? This band gets points for originality, I'll give them that. It's not my kind of music, but it is one of a kind.
And I have to say, I love how monotone the story is told. I enjoyed listening to it, I even laughed at a couple parts. I'm not entirely sure what it all means or how it relates to anything, but that's alright. I think.

Don't Fumble - Just be Humble. Aww, what a sweet message. Maybe. I don't know. It could be. I question whether this band even knows what they're singing. My god, are they high.

Sunset Doesn't Mean That We Lose the Sun. Hey, that's kind of a thoughtful title, huh? Too bad he repeats it like all hell at the beginning. Not to mention that overused reggae sound (you know what I'm talking about) that I absolutely detest. I don't like it very much. It's pretty repetitive and unoriginal.

This song, Wanna-Na, is the second track from the end. I'm kind of relieved, it's not exactly a thrilling album to just sit down and listen to.
Augh, it's 7 minutes long. Damn it all, I just want to go to bed!.. Why must you do this, Audio Active?
Well, despite my discomfort, I'm liking this song more than the others. His vocals are an improvement, I think. He doesn't seem to be trying too hard on this one, and it's pretty refreshing. Even if most of the lyrics are gibberish, it's still fun to listen to.

Wanna-Na Dub is the last track, and obviously it's more techno (luckily). It's really just Wanna-Na dubbified (yes, dubbified. It's my new word). It's pretty interesting to listen to. It's nice to hear a purely electronic song after all that annoying reggae. (Why do I have a reggae album if I hate reggae anyhow?!)

Okay, okay.
3 out of 5

I really debated the score. It's a good album, and I can recognize that despite my dislike of the genre. I think real fans of reggae or dub music like this would really enjoy it, but with people with tastes like mine, it's probably closer to a 2 and 1/2 or 2 out of 5. To each their own.