Holy crap, it's not a review.

Just for the hell of it, here is a list of the remaining bands. Yeah, it's just in MSPaint, it's pretty sloppy. Tell me f I fucked anything up regarding the band's name or their country.

The List

Yeah, this is going to take a while.
You might have noticed that some of those bands are fairly well known (like Dream Theater, Sugizo, Kamelot) and I because I haven’t heard much of their work, I feel inclined to listen to it, even if I may have more bias than usual because of them being mainstream.
Also, some of these bands I fancy quite a bit (like Sandii, JULLAN, Morrie). There are just some that I haven’t heard all their material, or haven’t learned all of it by heart.

Beni Tokage's "Keshi no Hana"

Artist: Beni Tokage (Japan)
Album: Keshi no Hana

Alright, so Kuroi Ningyou Dukai is very low quality, it sounds so drowned out. Um, I’m not sure what I would classify this as…
Because it’s obvious they weren’t very popular, I’m giving the vocalist some leeway. He’s not very good.
That whole song sounds a bit sloppy, but I don’t dislike it. I don’t really like it either, though. I nothing it. They have potential, so let’s just go to track two and see what they do.

Asakusa ni Kaero u is a lot slower, and again, I’m not sure what kind of music this is. It’s not weird or all that unique or anything, I’m just undecided.
You know, it’s another, “I don’t really have much of an opinion” song. They’re decent enough at their instruments, the songs are nice and the vocalist isn’t that bad.
What is this feeling? I feel so… neutral!!

Uh-oh, a live version. The song is called Sexus, let’s see what happens. Sadly, their live recordings are the same quality as their studio songs. Both sound like their underwater, though.
God, I really am at a loss for words. This is a first for me.

King Dam catches my interest more than the others, probably because it’s a bit darker. The others songs have been surprisingly peppy. I suppose I like this one more than the others?

Track five is New Life, and it really just doesn’t interest me at all. And the vocalist is really not good in this one. This is without a doubt the worst so far.

I wonder if anything will really wow me on this album? I wonder if I’ll even like any of the songs on this album?
Well, based on Rokkindo-ru, the album is getting progressively worse. I don’t like it at all. In fact, it very, very annoying. Next song.

Leningrad Spy Band, okay now! Maybe we’ll have something interesting here?
Well… I guess it is. More than the others, at least.
Because of the terrible sound quality, it’s all very piercing and kind of painful to listen to.

Go! Go! Takushi… What a cute, happy title. And I guess the song is cute, too… in its own special way.
Really, the only thing I like are the keyboards, they’re pretty adorable.

Rock Kurititsuku is… is…
Um, why does the vocalist sound like he’s choking? It’s almost comedic. Okay, the album has taken a turn for the worst. Or maybe I should say the vocalist has really taken a turn for the worst.
The music itself is nothing special, though.

Well, here’s the last track, Private Tooku. Well, luckily it’s an instrumental, which is exactly what the band should do with all their songs. Unfortunately, it’s not interesting, really.


2 out of 5.
It’s not that bad, but it’s certainly not good. I was a little torn on the score because it’s decent enough that I’m sure plenty of people would really like it, but I just think it deserves a 2.

Bellaphon's "Firefly"

Artist: Bellaphon (Japan)
Album: Firefly

The album beings with Jade, a very guitar heavy, breezy sounding instrumental. It’s pretty light hearted and happy, but it’s definitely not cheesy. I still have no idea what kind of band Bellaphon are, though. This song has a lot of different musical elements in it. Let’s just see what’s on the next track, I guess.
Oh, and yes, I do like it.

The second track is Le Petite Prince. Wow, what a precious title. I couldn’t think of something more sweet and cute than that.
It’s very dreamy sounding. In a way it reminds me of some of the music on my old N-64 games I used to play. Like, it has a somewhat midi feel to it, but not exactly.

Alright. This band continues to confuse me. This is definitely more rock oriented than the purely electronic Le Petite Prince. It has a Spanish sounding guitar, electric guitar, various synths, piano… Very eclectic. Yes, that’s the perfect word for Mistral, the third track. It’s most certainly fun to listen to such an eclectic song.
I absolutely adore it. And I mean adore. Pure adoration.
If I didn’t mention before, all the tracks have been instrumentals. I’m getting the feeling the other five tracks won’t be featuring vocals either.

You confuse me yet again, Bellaphon. Belle du Jour is a minute long, classical piano piece. It’s very beautiful, a part of me wants it to be longer.
But we must press onward.

The first thing I notice about Vent du Midi is the length: it’s almost 10 minutes long (!). And oh dear god, am I confused! What kind of band are they? What would I classify this as when they’re jumping all over the place!
Okay, I love this. I love this so much. Every song is so unique, and my confusion feels wonderful. They’re very diverse and I think that they’re wide range of genres is impressive, to say the least. Vent du Midi, like the others, is fantastic. At 4:30 it even features woodwinds. Fucking woodwinds. I have to say that it gets amazing after that point. I think this is going to become a favorite of mine. I just have no complaints at all.
And if you’re wondering, yes, I did listen to all 9 minutes 45 seconds without any other distractions.

Following that is another long song, Evros. It’s 45 seconds shorter than Vent du Midi, but let’s see if I’ll like it enough to sit through all of it like I did with the last track.
For some reason it reminds me a tiny bit of Final Fantasy. Am I a nerd for even saying that? That along with my Nintendo 64 comment earlier, yes, I am.
I would think that a fan of the old 90s midi music would love this. And, as a fan of 90s midi music, I love this.
Evros is very guitar heavy, at least from the 4 minutes I’ve heard so far. Now it’s slowing a bit and reminding me a lot of Final Fantasy now (I promise I’ll stop soon). It gains speed again at the 5 minute mark, although it definitely isn’t a fast song. Oh, and I love the keyboard solo at around 5:30. Oh, yes I do.
I don’t normally say this, but this band is very, very talented. I would love to see them working on a song, and to see them write to see how they work.

The seventh track is Firefly. I’m very curious what they’ll do with this song, it seems so unpredictable.
!!
Okay, I see. Firefly is the longest so far at almost 13 minutes. Now I see why this album only has eight tracks. Considering that Art of Life, a 28 minute song, is a favorite of mine, I’m not really bothered by such long tracks provided that they stay interesting throughout all of it. Here’s to hoping Firefly can satisfy that.
So far, 2 minutes, 30 seconds in, it’s very keyboard heavy. I’m looking forward to the rest of this song. Wow, that’s something you don’t hear a lot of this blog…
Really, I just have so much respect to any band that can create songs this long. It takes a lot of creativity and talent, especially to create interesting material that length.
At 5 minutes, 30 seconds, it takes a dramatic turn with very slow keyboards, guitar and birds chirping.
At 8:30, it turns to lounge music!... I really do adore this, it’s so unpredictable and original. I’m sorry that I don’t have much to say, I’ve just been listening intently this whole time.

The last track is the 7 minute Labyrinth. It seems so small in comparison, doesn’t it? Well, it feels much more explosive than the others, if that makes sense. Which is great to end an album on, in my opinion.
This is so predictable of me, but it’s superb. Dare I say, at 2:15, it’s orgasmic. Crude, I know, but that’s the only way I feel I can describe it. It’s a breath-taking way to end the album, it really brings it to a final and complete close, leaving me feeling very happy that I took the time to listen.
Let’s end this review, you must be tired of me raving about this like some fanboy. Fangirl, actually.


Do I even need to say it?

5 out of 5.
Excellent, fantastic, amaing, fascinating, unique and original. I know it might not be everyone’s “thing”, but it’s exactly all those adjectives above to me. I would recommend that anyone and everyone give it a try, even just once. I love this record, and I enjoyed every last second of it.
Considering that I have never heard of this band before listening, I’ll say that they’re underappreciated. Call me an idiot if they’re actually very popular and I just didn’t know.

Edit: The genre is progressive rock, which explains the long track lengths. I have no idea why I was having such trouble classifying it.

Beatniks's "Exitentialism"

Artist: Beatniks (Japan)
Album: Exitentialism (1997)

The first track is Le Sang de Poete, which is just a synth-y instrumental opening with someone saying “le sang de poete” over and over. Let’s see how the next track is. Like I said in the last post, if this band isn’t good, I’m going to lose my mind. After Barbee Boys, I really need something uplifting.

No Way Out. That’s a very uplifting title... Maybe uplifting wasn’t the right word choice on my part.
But, this raises my spirits. I have no complaints so far, I really love the sound of it all. There’s a lot of layers and it blends together very well. The instruments are good, the vocalist is really great and it’s very pleasing to listen to. Okay, so the “great vocals” is debatable, but hell, I adore it.
In short, I love this song. See, Barbee Boys? This is how you make interesting music!

Track three is Ark Diamant, and it is a bit darker, and definitely not lacking the excellence of No Way Out. Again, I love everything about it, especially the drums. For some reason, they really catch me.
Another amazing track, hopefully the rest of the album will follow this trend. Maybe Beatniks will join Apryl Fool as the second five star album on this blog? Let’s wait and see, I suppose.
It seems that these songs are going to be ones I’ll like more and more as I listen to them. Don’t ask how I can tell, but I just can. And considering how much I love this already, I wonder how I’ll feel in a month.

Now and Then starts out much slower than the previous three tracks. I mean, with a title like that, what would you expect?
I want to compare this to some other artist, it’s one the tip of my tongue, but… hell, I can’t think of it!... Something about the vocalist sounds so much like someone.
Oh well, I’ll never come up with a name.

The fifth track of the album is Loopy. I wonder if it will be druggy or off-putting or something to that degree?
So far, it definitely is off-putting. I’m not sure if I fully understand it. It sounds like a bunch of sounds scrambled together in one mass. Was that a goose I heard? Yeah, yeah, I wouldn’t want to listen to this at night. It’s really odd.

Following that slightly disturbing track is Une Femme N’est Pas un Homme.
…. David Sylvian! That’s who the vocalist (kind of) sounds like! I don’t know why I didn’t realize it on Now and Then, but oh well.
Well, this is definitely more light hearted than Loopy, although it still feels a little bit sinister, haha.

Mirroris immediately catches my attention. The high-pitched plucking on the guitar sounds really neat, if not painful.
What I like about all these songs is that not one section of the song is entirely the same as the other sections. It’s very easy to just sit down and listen to the album like I’m doing because of that. I don’t feel like I’m getting bored with any of it, actually.

Track eight, Le Robinet is delightfully bouncy sounding.
As I said before, this band uses so many layers, so listening to it is a unique experience. It’s not like many other bands, but at the same time, it’s not unbelievably fucked up (I’m looking at you, After Dinner and Aunt Sally).

Awww, the ninth (out of ten) track. I feel kind of sad now that there’s not much more left.
Ahhh.. Well, it’s called L’toile de Mer. It’s very odd, I’m not entirely sure if it’s up beat or very dark. While it’s not my favorite of the tracks on the album, I still enjoy listening to it.
The chorus is quite fun, though. But then immediately afterwards, it’s pretty depressing sounding. Hmm.

Okay, the last track, Inevitable. Again, not my favorite of the album, but it’s still great.

4 and ½ out of 5.
I know, not quite 5, but I round up when I tag, so this will be tagged as a 5 out of 5. Congratulations, Beatniks! Join Apryl Fool, I’ll make you a pedestal or something like that.
Although I absolutely adore this album, and everything is really amazing, I felt that 4 ½ was more fitting for some reason. I can’t really tell you why, just listen to the album yourself. Which I recommend you do! It’s really excellent.

Looks like we have Bellaphon coming up. Please dazzle me like Beatniks have.

Edit: I looked up some info: Apparently Beatniks were a band formed by Yukihiro Takahashi (YMO) a nd Keiichi Suzuki (Moonriders), which makes a lot of sense. It really sounds like it on second listen.

Barbee Boys's "BLACK LIST", "Listen! Barbee Boys 4" and "3rd. Break"

Artist: Barbee Boys (Japan)
Album: BLACK LIST (1988)

Oh God. The first tracks I see are “C’mon, Let’s Go!” and Blue Blue Rose”. This band is an early 1990s Visual-Kei band, aren’t they? I guess we’ll see.

Oohhh boy, C’mon, Let’s Go! is already a charm… There’s a fucking duet between a man and a woman vocalist. Cheesiness factor 12. What the hell was I expecting from a band named “Barbee Boys” anyhow? Something not completely lame and embarrassing to the human race? Haha, how silly of me.

Alrighty, Blue Blue Rose… At the very least it’s darker. It’s not quite as bad, it might be better if the vocalist didn’t sound like such a little pussy.
The guitar is kind of great, though. That’s what sad about it all. It has the potential to be really good, but there’s just tiny little things holding it back. And the result somehow is very… not good.
I have the feeling this will be the best this band has to offer, though.

(Still have no internet, and there’s damn kana in the title again. Correct me if I’m wrong.)
Demo?! Shou ga nai suffers the same problems as Blue Blue Rose. The guitars? Good. The vocals? Stupid and annoying and generally just a bad idea. Honestly, give me the guitar tracks from this album and I’d be perfectly happy. It’s everything else that I don’t like.
At least I don’t think it’s Visual-Kei.

Blahblahkanji de DANCE is… oh come on, cut it out with that damn duet. Oh Christ, they growled when they said “kirai, kirai”. How fucking lame is that?! They’re just saying a verb twice, over and over again! The stupidity is overwhelming!!
Okay, the brass instrument solo (don’t know what it is) is pretty cool, and other than the singing, I really like it. But the singing just hits you in the face. It’s just not good.
I’ve figured it out! The vocalists think they’re in a pop-rock band, but wandered into a dark, rock bands jam session, and they happened to accidentally record it. And BLACK LIST was born.

(kanji) no (kanji) de ma batakuo (I totally fucked up that title, apologies) is probably the most tolerable, I guess.
Okay, okay, fine, I’ll admit it! Their use of brass instruments for their solos rather than the typical guitar is really great! Just--- ahh! This is so depressing! So much could be fixed, so easily!...

(I can’t read a single character of the title) already sounds cheese-tastic. Sounds like this is the obligatory ballad of the album, huh? Great. Just what this band needs: focus on the vocalist.
Oh god, he just said, “face to face” at the end of his verse. I think I’m going to be sick.
The sad thing is that the female vocalist could work in some kind of hard rock band if she tweaked it a little. But there’s just something completely “off”. There’s no hope for the man, though.

(kanji) cryin’ on the beach… Crying on the beach, awesome. Honestly, this one is almost indistinguishable from the last song I heard. At one point I checked my iPod to see if I accidentally selected the wrong song.
This is so bland. It’s as interesting as vanilla yogurt. Plain vanilla, without any fruit or sprinkles or whatever you would put on yogurt.

Mo yada! is so… so…
Ahhhhhhhh!!
I think the album is getting worse. It’s lost any edge it once had, even if that “edginess” was hidden under a thick layer of lame.

At least MIDNIGHT CALL sounds pretty interesting. Okay, nevermind. I swear, the second they start singing, I immediately despise it. These two are some of the most unlikeable vocalists I’ve ever heard. It’s not that they’re bad singers or anything, they’re just pretentious and annoying.

(kanji) sa nai might be dark, based on this beginning. Oh, who am I kidding? It’s just going to suck like the others.
Really, it just confuses me. The whole album has confused me so far. I just don’t get the vocals at all. I realize that my constant complaints about that is getting annoying, but I just can’t get over it. It’s so bizarre.

I just want this to be over once and for all.
So (kanji)keru mo n ka, what do you have for me? Obviously nothing, it sounds exactly like the others. Can’t you put some effort into this, Barbee Boys?

Oh thank god, the last track. It’s all in Katakana, and I can’t read it, but maybe that’s for the best.
You know what? Fuck it. Just end this hell.

1 and ½ out of 5.
I think I’ve said it all.

… What’s that?
What?
What?
WHAT?!

I have two more fucking albums by Barbee Boys?!?
There really is no God.



Album: Listen! Barbee Boys 4

Aww, that’s sad. They’re begging me to listen to this one. Just look at the title. Aww.

Oh? Hachi awase no (kana) sounds really, really cool.
….
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!
Why didn’t they replace the vocalists?! Whyyyyyyyyy?
It seems that the second those damn vocals come on, the instruments stop being… good. I don’t know how to explain it, but this is one of the cases where the singing literally ruins the music.

(kanji)ita mama de listen to me (ORIGINAL MIX) is track two. Again, they’re trying to keep me listening. That’s so pitiful, Barbee Boys. If you want people to keep listening, kick those vocalists out!

Dear Wagamama Eirian… Did he just say “Juicy eyes, rosy face”? What the hell? Well, the woman will just repeat him, so maybe I can see if they really did. I hope not.
Somehow, this is even less interesting than the others. It’s like they aren’t even trying..

Gomen Nasai is track four. See? See? They’re finally apologizing to me for the things I’ve had to endure (gomen nasai means “sorry” in Japanese for the stupid and uninformed. Oh, you know I’m just kidding).

Onna gitsune on the run (ORIGINAL “BIG BOWL” VERSION) is just…
The album is getting progressively worse as time goes on. By this point they’re really aren’t any redeeming qualities. It’s just a steaming pile of 90s crap.

Waai Waai Wai starts with that saxophone. That’s getting pretty annoying by this point.
And “Waai Waai Wai” is what I’ve been saying this entire time. “Waai Waai Wai didn’t they kick them out?! Waai Waai Wai were they signed?!”

(kanji) de (kanji) ru Papa he no Tegami really is just no different from the others. It’s track seven. That’s it. That’s all it has going for it.
It’s pretty damn lazy the chorus is just them repeating the title twice. Nice going, Barbee Boys.

(kanji) no (kanji) is just about as unique as Aikawa Nanase’s “R.U.O.K.?!”. (It’s in the tags, find it yourself.)

Noisy is going to sound identical to the others; I know that even before the thing starts. And look at that! It does!
To fans of Barbee Boys out there: Are you honestly able to tell the difference between these songs? If so, how?! It just floors me.

Kuchi ni (kana)yakku is so boring, I let the entire song go by without me noticing. I was trying to figure out that one kana and just let it slip by. Well, that doesn’t upset me in the slightest.

The last track! The last fucking track! The last fucking track!! I’m so much closer to never having to listen to this damn band again. So close. But, I still have another album. Please god, let it be a single, a maxi-single… Even a mini-album! I can’t sit through another full length album by these people!

1 out of 5.
This is somehow worse than the last album. The only good quality is that the first track has really amazing instruments. If only the vocalists didn’t have to ruin everything in their wake.

Now, let’s see the track number on the last of Barbee Boys album I own… Oh, let it be short, let it be short, let it be short, big money, big money, big money, whammy!
Huh? Oh, the track number, right.

…
…
Fuck.
It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. There’s only nine tracks.
Oh, I’m going insane.


Album: 3rd. Break

Well, I’ve lost all hope. The first track sounds exactly like everything else this poor excuse for a band has shat out of its uncreative intestines. (What, was that too descriptive?)
And you know that they had to be at least mildly popular if they made three albums.
A fanbase… Ohh, I long to know what the Barbee Boys fandom is like.

Don namon dai (kana) really does nothing to bring some variety, I see. I have the greatest urge to just slap the hell out of this band and scold them for what they’ve done.

Haya Mattara iya Daze (I think I’m getting worse at deciphering these titles) seems to try to make it edgier or something. I don’t know, it’s just bad. Bad, bad, bad. I hate this band so much, they are easily one of the unlikeable bands I’ve ever heard. I just get the overwhelming feeling that they’re pretentious dicks. Kind of the same feeling I get when I listen to U2, except that I know they’re pretentious dicks.

Track four is terrible, too.

Track five is amazing!
Wouldn’t you be surprised if I said something like that? Yeah, except I’m not going to. Track five is awful as well.

Okay, you know what? Enough. Just fucking enough. I hate this band, I hate everything about this god damn band and I hope I never am forced to listen to it again. I am deleting every last speck of Barbee Boys off my hard drive and the second I hear their music again, I am going to have a nervous breakdown. If I hear one millisecond of their music from this point on, you will find me half naked on the toilet eating crayons and naming my eye-crud.
FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCCKKKK.

0 out of 5.
I was merciful on the first two albums, but at this point, no pity. Zero zero zero zero zero. No, this is absolute zero out of five. Nothing is lower, it’s absolute zero.

Beatniks are my next review. I have some faith in them, so let’s hope for the best. After this torture, I need something quality.
If Beatniks don’t deliver, I’m going to lose it.

Bad Baby's "Bad Baby"

Artist: Bad Baby
Album: Bad Baby

Well, right off the bat, I can tell this is going to be very, very dark. So far, A Dream Within a Dream has my attention, let’s just see where it goes from here.
Okay, good, good. Nice vocals, interesting sound, good instruments. Maybe we have a winner on here for once.
It’s deliciously dark. That’s a good way to put it, I guess. What would this be classified as? Positive punk, maybe. That’s a plus, because I fucking love positive punk. (Have you noticed that I’m cussing more and more as the blog goes on?)

The second track is Broken-Hearted. Already I’m loving Bad Baby’s sound, it’s very bass heavy, which usually gets my approval. I only wish there wasn’t the crackle and pops of a dirty record, although I suppose it gives it charm. I guess.
I really love the vocalist; his voice is very smooth and haunting, and the backing vocals are pretty neat too.

Salvation Army seems like it’s going to be a bit more light-hearted than the last two. By about 1:30, it starts to pick up pace and end my thoughts of it being light.
Well, it’s pretty fascinating. Salvation Army seems to be the kind of song I could listen to for days on end without getting bored. I wouldn’t listen to it for several days, but it’s not my last choice. It’s just very interesting. And don’t take interesting as “it’s bad, but unique”. It’s good and unique.

Ahh, more bass. And a really cool keyboard. Nice.
Promenade is the first song not in English, and I think it flows better this way. I hate saying this all the time, but it’s just intriguing. (haha) The whole genre is very open-ended, you won’t find too many bands that sound exactly like each other in this genre. That’s just my opinion, of course. Feel free to tell me about how I know nothing.

Track five is Glasshouses. The song doesn’t interest me as much as the others, but I have to say that the female vocals that come in around the 3 minute mark are positively lovely. Despite that, I definitely won’t forget it easily.
That’s the wonderful thing: all the songs sound different! After reviewing crap like Azz, this is a relief!

Mont Blanc is a very slow paced instrumental. I have to say, the guitars are fantastic, and the whole song leaves an impression on you. At first I was a little unsure, but halfway through I began to realize that it’s pretty incredible.

(Out of the Frying Pan) Into the Fire takes a while to gain speed, but it keeps me wanting to know what’s ahead. I don’t feel like skipping tracks because I’m getting bored with it, you know?
It’s another instrumental like Mont Blanc, but it’s very easy to sit down and listen to. I’m not trying to say that all instrumentals are painful or anything of the sort. I just think it takes skill to make a purely instrumental song interesting throughout the entire track.

Okay, so the last track is Cry Baby Cry. I have to say, this may be a favorite of mine on the record. All of it works so well, and not to mention they bring in that wonderful female vocalist again. All of it is perfect, I adore it. What an ending.

4 out of 5.
It’s a definite must listen for fans of goth music in the early 80s, although it isn’t up to par with the masters or anything, of course. I wouldn’t say that it’s revolutionary for the genre, but it definitely is a great listen.

Azz's "Take it & Easy"

(The next 7 reviews were done in the middle of nowhere without any internet, so there will be edits at the end of them, probably.)

Artist: Azz (Japan)
Album: Take it & Easy

Haha, look at that. Our last review of a fucking band that starts with A. Great.
Unfortunately, I’m writing this on the road to Spokane (AKA Hell) on a barely functioning laptop, so the noise of the road might drown out some of the music I’m hearing. Bear with me here.

Anyway anyway.

If I’m not mistaken, a member of AURA is in this band? Was it the drummer, KoReds? I can’t remember and don’t have internet to check. Moving on.

Junky Business is the first track, and the only track I have heard before. I loved it a year and a half ago, probably just because it features fucking brass instruments. I used to have a real boner for brass, you know. Oh, the actual song. Well, it has some pretty funky 70s esque guitar, a horn section and one obnoxious vocalist. Dear lord, he is annoying. My tastes in music were very awful a year and a half ago, apparently. Ch-rist.

Reminder: I have no internet. And this song is written in kana and kanji. So, um…Para o (kanji) ka seyou (I tried my best) does little to improve the singing. I realize that this band isn’t being entirely serious (I’d be embarrassed if they were), but that doesn’t excuse annoying music. It’s almost scarily peppy. I feel slightly ill.

Oh god, Love Song. It’s going to be stupid. It is stupid, what a surprise. It sounds like he’s fucking hiccupping. “A-I shi-te-mooo”. Maybe he knows Phew. Seriously, stop repeating “aishitemo”, it’s sounds so terrible.

Sweet Rain… Let’s see how my theory of everything “rain” being some kind of ballad. Well, so far so good for that, it’s slower.. It’s just… (siiiigh) I hope this band has something else to fall back on, because maybe music isn’t their thing. Regardless of whether of not you deserve it, if people buy your material, you’re a success. Were Azz a success? For the sake of my sanity, I kind of hope not. (Sorry Azz fans, if you exist out there.) Yeah, there are worse bands/artists out there that actually sell (looking at you, ICP), but Azz are in that group, too.

Ano (kanji) ka (kanji) demo (kanji)iyou ni. Catchy title when you can only read 100 kanji. I think... I think this band is somehow more annoying than most other 90s V-kei ish music. I don’t know if they’re V-kei or 90s, but it sounds like it. Don’t give me that “Visual-Kei is a clothing style, not a musical genre, you’re ignorant!” because it does have a sound all its own. A tired, overrated, no-different-from-American-music sound. I apologize, but I say what I want! Honestly, this is godawful. I can’t stand it. I feel slightly homicidal after listening to this song.

(kanji) onna ga (kanji) o mitai (kanjikanji) ni (Hey, I knew some of the kanji that time) sounds less similar than the other ones, thank God. It has some kind of 60s feel to it, or something, I don’t know. My brain is fried, partly because our car has no air conditioning, and because of this mind-numbing music. I’m just dumbfounded that no one in the studio told them, “Hey. Stop that. You’re embarrassing us all.”

1 out of 5.
Luckily for me, it was a mini-album. Unluckily for me, it was a very bad mini-album. Stay away, please just stay away from this record.

Oh my, there’s a tough biker in front of us wearing sandals and socks. That’s so hardcore of you, random biker. Rock on.

Next up is Bad Baby, the first non-Japanese review! Yaaaaay! I’m so fucking excited! I might be reviewing last year’s TOKYO DARK CASTLE sometime, too. Looking forward to that, to say the least.

Edit: And yes, I did come back to listen to the album once I was off the road without all that background noise. It sounds even worse.
Edit 2: And no, I couldn't find any answers to my questions.

AZRAEL's "King of the Steely Nation"

Artist: AZRAEL (Japan)
Album: King of the Steely Nation (2000)

Oh wow, I can already tell this is going to be some sort of power metal. Que the dragons and Dargor, the Shadowlord of the Black Mountain (if you know what band that's a reference to, you are a fucking nerd).

Knight in the Night.
Knight in the Night.
My brain... is broken. What a pun. Oh, what a pun. What a fantastic pun, even for power metal standards.
Dear god.

Don't get me wrong, I adore power metal, I always have. Rhapsody, Dragonland, ARK STORM... I eat this shit up. I love dragons and orbs and wizards and shit.
Typical of Japanese power metal, the vocals are in English. Incomprehensible, unintelligible English.
Typical of most power metal, it sounds similar to everything else in the genre. Don't even try to distinguish between power metal bands. It's pretty hard sometimes.
So, Behind the Mask falls into that rut. It's pretty good, but it's not great or anything. The guitar solo was pretty badass, though.We
By the way, Behind the Mask is a Yellow Magic Orchestra song, you guys. You got me all confused because I'm an idiot. My first thought was, "OH MY, they did a cover of YMO?!".

Track three is Beyond the Wall. Ohhh, I see: "Behind the mask, beyond the wall"... Maybe I don't see.
Well, it has the same problem as Behind the Mask. It just doesn't hold up compared to the others. There are many other bands that sound like this, but are much better. They aren't really unique enough for me to truly like, even if they do happen to be rather good.

Well, King of the Steely Nation better be great if the album is named after it.
....
Sorry, it just doesn't cut it. I'm going to forget these tracks the second I press the next button on my iPod. It's just the sad truth, AZRAEL.

Hold on to the Young Love sounds like some upbeat 90s theme song... My god, no, AZRAEL, no... It's just embarrassing. Stop this, stop this right now.
Wait, I can stop it myself. Next!!

Sorry, I couldn't take more of that.
Shadowdancer follows up that gem. It's... I just don't know what to say. All the tracks blend into each other, and I get bored with albums like these.
The keyboards are awfully neat, though.

Track whatever I lost track is Burning Down. It starts with piano. Oh god, oh god, don't be a sappy ballad. You already got enough embarrassment from Hold on to the Young Love.
Oh Christ, this is even more shameful. It's not good. It's really lame. Yes, I know that power metal in general is lame, but power ballads? Come on. Try to out cheese that. You can't.

Okay, so that was kind of painful. Lethal Lover starts with that cool keyboard that I like. Good, good. Except that it fucking sounds the same as all the others! Fuuuuck.
(Are you noticing that I'm getting less and less sympathetic as the albums drags on?)
The falsetto in the chorus is good. There, a compliment.

Break the Ice... I sat here for a while trying to think of some witty joke to go along with that, but I just can't. My mind is so numb. Before I knew it, the song was over.

Talking Your Heart already has a flaw, right from the start: The title makes no sense. But, English isn't their first language, so I'd be a dick to criticize that. I really wish these bands would just suck it up and sing in Japanese. Yeah, it's not as "hip", I guess, but I'm sure the lyrics would be much better. If I could understand this, I'm sure the lyrics aren't top of the line. You know, I'm just being brutally honest here.
And you see that? I'm so bored at this point that I forgot to even listen to the damn song. It's a little obnoxious from what I heard.

Oh dear, there is a God. Close to the Soul is the last track. At one point, I began worrying, "Is there an end to this fresh hell?".
(It's not that bad, I just love being an asshole.)
What can I say? It's really just jghhguhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

hgggggggggggg

Huh, what? Oh hell, it seems like I fell asleep.. Well, at least it's over.

2 out of 5.
It seems awfully generous after all my complaints, doesn't it? Well, in a technical sense, this album is quite good. It's just completely stale and feels like it's constraining itself to just one sound. And that sound is uninteresting. Sorry, AZRAEL.

AUSHVITZ's "Akarui"

Artist: AUSHVITZ (Japan)
Album: Akarui

Well, here is a four track sort of mini-album, so it should go quickly. Awesome.

Track one's title is Where we go, and--- well, it's only about a minute long, and it's really not much. Make that a three track mini-album. Or would that be a single? Hell if I know.

Okay, looks like Homurabi is very heavy. Kind of unexpected after that slow opening, but pretty expected considering their band name.
It's nothing really special. Apparently Syu from Galneryus is in this band, so that scores a few points, but regardless... eh.

Akarui confuses me again. What's with the freakishly heavy song sandwiched between these tear-jerkers? Well, at least it's variety. The drums sound so terribly dull, though. Yes, I'm complaining about the drums of all things. Not how incredibly cheesy and cliche the entire fucking song is. Honestly, this really just doesn't stand out. I would never be able to pick this out of a group of other V-Kei artists and say, "That's AUSHVITZ." They don't have their own sound, they're awfully unoriginal. That's usually when I say, "Why am I listening to this then?".
Not to mention the vocals sound so awkwardly paced at some parts.

Koukousoku is the last track of this maxi-single (yes, I finally remembered the term). They really just don't wow me, sorry. His auto-tune voice at the verses, the tired drums, the boring guitar... And it really just feels like it's trying to hard.
Syu does continue to impress me though. Listen to that guitar solo! Go, Syu, go! You're the only redeeming quality of this band, flaunt it! Yeah!

2 out of 5.
You know, it's not bad. Typical ~*~JAY-RAWK~*~ people would probably eat this up. I just find it rather
booooooriiiiinngg.
Next band. I need some sparkle, some pizazz, some wow factor. Can AZRAEL give me that? Stay tuned. (Yes, I do enjoy being lame. It's quite fun.)

Aunt Sally's "Aunt Sally"

Artist: Aunt Sally (Japan)
Album: Aunt Sally

I don't know if I've been dreading this review or looking forward to it..
I know a bit about Aunt Sally. I've heard a little of their work. It's weird. So, I know what I'm getting into by reviewing this.
Basically, they were a Japanese punk band in the late 70s. Anyhoo, let's start the review.

Track one is Aunt Sally. Aunt Sally's track "Aunt Sally" from the album Aunt Sally. Wow.
Well, it starts off normal, I guess. Um, now it just sounds like random stabs on the guitar. It's kind of painful to listen to, actually. And here is Phew on vocals. God, she is just awful. But, that's to be expected.
Is this even music? I can't tell you how confused I am right now. My god, it's 6 and a half minutes, too. Is it like this throughout the whole song?!... To be honest, I don't really get it.

Kagami begins with someone who is very bad at whistling... Then it goes into this cheery little tune, where Phew begins singing, "Dododo da dododo da dododo da doo dah". I kind of like it. Am I insane?

Sameta Kajiba De deems a hell of a lot darker than the last track. It feels very surreal. Again, I really like this one. I just don't know what the hell was up with that first track. Maybe I should have given Aunt Sally a second chance all this time. See, I heard the first track a long while back and fled, never to return. Now, I'm back to them. And I like it. I... like... it?

The fourth track, Hi Ga Kuchite really shows us how terrible of a vocalist Phew is. Really, the girl can't sing. But, that just makes it creepy and unique. I guess.
Um. So that was strange. Next track.

Subete Urimono starts with massive amounts of bass, funky keyboards and frantic singing. I actually don't know if I like it or hate it. I'm leaning towards "love it". Especially when they just start spouting nonsense at the halfway mark. To say the least, this is one to remember.

After such a chaotic track, they probably are going to follow up with something a bit slower? Well, I guess Essay is slower. It's really just odd. And hey, there are those keyboards again. I like those. Keep those in your songs, Aunt Sally.
The keyboards in the background kind of sounds like the skating level in California Games for the Sega Genesis...

I Was Chosen is all in English (I think?). Christ, I can't understand a word, haha!
I really like it. Like After Dinner, this must be brain wash.
Actually, if you like After Dinner, I would give Aunt Sally a try. They fall into the same category of "this is so fucking weird, what am I listening to".

Uh-huh. Tenki sounds like it will make some sense? Please do, I'm so confused right now.
Really, it is the most contemporary of the whole record so far. Of course, it's only 48 seconds of normal until the next track.

I wonder why all their songs are so damn short? Well, here's Frank Ni. I'm getting the feeling that their guitarist doesn't even know how to play his damn instrument. Not to mention Phew sounds like she's hiccuping every couple seconds.
I'm painting a bad picture. It's not necessary terrible or anything, it's just... I don't understand most of it. It's so odd that my mind can't handle it, I guess.

Speaking of confusion, here's Muyu no Shounen. It's just random guitar sounds with Phew singing very lowly for a minute.

Alrighty, the last track is Lorelei. Somehow her voice is worse in this track than the others. She's slurring, for Christ's sake!...
Sigh. My mind is blown.

3 out of 5.
I enjoyed listening to it, definitely. I'd recommend it just because you'll never hear anything like it. I can't say it's necessarily good music, but it's really interesting. A punk fan would probably be very interested in this album, I think.

Audio Active's "Tokyo Space Cowboys"

Artist: Audio Active (Japan)
Album: Tokyo Space Cowboys

Auditory Nerve Declaration...
"Hello everyone. We are Audio Active"
Well, hello Audio Active.
"from the outer space"
Oh, okay, that's cool, I guess...
"This is a first time for us.."
Uh-oh.
"to have some sound experiences.."
What?
"in the earth."
Okay, okay, you're in space, I have realized that.
There's a lot more of commentary after that, but whatever. He tells me to turn the volume up to maximum and that a lot of stuff will happen to me. He sounds really high.

Well, anyway. Track two is Space Children. It sounds just like how I expected, very.. martian-like. Wait, what the fuck? Those are some interesting vocals. Don't know how I feel so far... It's kind of synth-funk, if that makes sense... Probably not. I'm a bit bored by the 2 minute mark, but luckily the vocals come in by this time. They kind of annoy me, it sounds like Japanese guys trying ever so hard to sound black. But, maybe that's what they're going for. Either way, it's interesting, to say the least. I'd probably appreciate it a lot more if I were high.

Burning of the Midnight Lamp... I'm getting the feeling that this band is very mellow and druggy. Very. To be honest, I'm not too big on the Bob Marley fad and I don't understand drugs, so maybe that's why I can't fully appreciate it. (haha) It just is getting a little boring right now.

Track four is Free the Marijuana. I wonder what this song is about? Ohh, I can't even imagine.
Again, it's very reggae. I don't really like reggae.
(And I guess I agree with the song, we should legalize it.. But, my political opinions don't matter, this is a music review blog! I use that loosely, though.)
It's good, just not my "thing".

Auditory Nerve Dub Part 2...
....No, I'm not turning the volume up higher, stop asking me! You can't turn volume up to outer space, how high are you?!
Oh my god, I understand that you are Audio Active from outer space!! Honestly, I'm sensing some pretension from this band, maybe.

Okay, okay, Ala-Mecka-Bickally Dub. That's an awfully strange title, maybe the song will be the same. Well, it seems like they're throwing in more funk in here. I suppose that's nice. But, again, it gets kind of boring. It kind of feels like they could do more with it. In fact, this song gets kind of obnoxious after about 2 minutes.

Alarm Alarm... Ahhh, I'm getting kind of tired, to tell you the truth. It's just a bit too mellow for me to listen to this time of night (yes, 11:33 PM is the time I get sleepy, shut up).
I mean... ah. I don't have many opinions about it. I think reggae is kind of annoying, so naturally I won't like this much. I like their songs that have more techno influences more.

Well, The Giants Garden has a story? This band gets points for originality, I'll give them that. It's not my kind of music, but it is one of a kind.
And I have to say, I love how monotone the story is told. I enjoyed listening to it, I even laughed at a couple parts. I'm not entirely sure what it all means or how it relates to anything, but that's alright. I think.

Don't Fumble - Just be Humble. Aww, what a sweet message. Maybe. I don't know. It could be. I question whether this band even knows what they're singing. My god, are they high.

Sunset Doesn't Mean That We Lose the Sun. Hey, that's kind of a thoughtful title, huh? Too bad he repeats it like all hell at the beginning. Not to mention that overused reggae sound (you know what I'm talking about) that I absolutely detest. I don't like it very much. It's pretty repetitive and unoriginal.

This song, Wanna-Na, is the second track from the end. I'm kind of relieved, it's not exactly a thrilling album to just sit down and listen to.
Augh, it's 7 minutes long. Damn it all, I just want to go to bed!.. Why must you do this, Audio Active?
Well, despite my discomfort, I'm liking this song more than the others. His vocals are an improvement, I think. He doesn't seem to be trying too hard on this one, and it's pretty refreshing. Even if most of the lyrics are gibberish, it's still fun to listen to.

Wanna-Na Dub is the last track, and obviously it's more techno (luckily). It's really just Wanna-Na dubbified (yes, dubbified. It's my new word). It's pretty interesting to listen to. It's nice to hear a purely electronic song after all that annoying reggae. (Why do I have a reggae album if I hate reggae anyhow?!)

Okay, okay.
3 out of 5

I really debated the score. It's a good album, and I can recognize that despite my dislike of the genre. I think real fans of reggae or dub music like this would really enjoy it, but with people with tastes like mine, it's probably closer to a 2 and 1/2 or 2 out of 5. To each their own.

Arouge's "Boygyaku no Kikoushi"

Artist: Arouge
Album: Bougyaku no Kikoushi

Well, alrighty, just jump right in there, Arouge. No need to subtly start the album…
Already not impressed. Normally they put their best songs first, right? So… this is the best they can do? Sigh.

Okay. Everybody’s Rock&Roll… It feels like they’re either trying too hard or not trying hard enough… Well, they’re definitely trying too hard to be cool, but with the least amount of effort put into it. Double sigh.

The third track is In My Vision. I was about to ask “Have I heard this before?” but no. It just sounds like every other song I’ve ever heard in my life.

Oh my… Makin’ Love…. I can already tell this is another trying too hard songs. And yes, it is.

The fifth track, Play a Game—What the hell, it sounds like it starts halfway through the fucking song!... I see that Arouge don’t understand subtle introductions… This one is more J-Poppy with that “edgy Rock’n’Roll” thing going on. I guess. It’s really just kind of embarrassing.

No.No.No! That’s not me begging this to be over, that’s the title for track six (Did you see that? That was a joke). Something tells me that this is Arouge’s way of telling society “No. No. No! We will not stop rockin’!” because they’re So. Fucking. Cool.

Oh god. Remember is going to be all sentimental, isn’t it?... Actually, no, it’s just as soulless as the others. Great job at bringing some variety to this damn album, Arouge. (If you couldn’t tell, that was sarcasm. It’s very hard to convey sarcasm over the internet…)

Chains. Let me guess, it’s your “chains to ‘the man’”, right? Somehow this one is worse than the others. God, I really hate this.

See You in the Dream? Nevermind the Engrish, and nevermind Chains being the worst. This is the worst. It’s just plain annoying.

Oh hey, Winter Days is the last track!! AND IT DOESN’T SOUND EXACTLY LIKE THE OTHER NINE SONGS?!? And get this: It’s tolerable. Jesus Christ.

1 and ½ out of 5.

Why did I have mercy and add that 1/2 in there? The guitar solos can be pretty cool. That’s it, really. The only redeeming quality.

Apryl Fool's "Apryl Fool"

Artist: Apryl Fool (Japan)
Album: Apryl Fool (1968)

The first track of the album, Tomorrow's Child, sounds like The Blues Brothers or something!... Until the singing, that is. I'm surprised to hear such a western sound. I'm pretty sure it's a Japanese band, at least. Needless to say, I adore it. Very 60s, very mellow, very good. If the rest of this album is as excellent as this, we could have the first 5 out of 5 on Kamiuku Listen to Me!! Ohh, wouldn't that be special!

The second track is Another Time, and it has the same druggy sound as the last track. Just with more lounge-music qualities (that makes no sense). Again, Another Time is a gem. The vocalist is a real treat, too. Literally, his voice sounds creamy and delicious. Don't question me.

April Blues begins with... a cough. Probably them choking on all the marijuana used for making this record (It really is that druggy.) I absolutely adore the blues elements of this band so far, it's all very pleasing to the ears. Everything about it is great.

Lost Mother Land Pt. 1 already seems much less carefree than the last three tracks. The vocals (I think those are vocals???) sound like buzzing... I'm fascinated. The song is long (7 minutes), so I'll keep my opinions short: It is an intriguing, unique piece of art that only the extremely eccentric will truly appreciate.

Following that dark track is something very light and breezy, Tanger. When I can hear his vocals clearly, I can definitely hear his accent. For a while, I thought maybe they weren't Japanese after all!... Regardless, the western influence is very apparent.
I probably sound like a broken record, but this is another amazing song. Everything melds together so well, creating a very memorable, creative sound.

Track six is Pledging my Time. I really can't imagine how high they were when they were recording this. I can just picture billowing smoke as I listen to it. If I did pot (which I don't), I can't even imagine how perfect this music would be.

I'm becoming more and more sad as the album's end comes closer... Sunday is the seventh track out of ten. And hey, look at that! I think this is the first track that features Japanese lyrics!
This is definitely the most contemporary of their songs and probably the least interesting. But of course it's still good.

Honky Tonk Jam s a great follow up to such a solemn song. It's very fun. I really can't resist moving my whole body to it, my foot was tapping by the first note. I only wish it was longer.

Here we are... The end to the album, Lost Mother Land Pt. 2. It's very peculiar just like Part 1. I wish I could understand the narration (It's in Japanese), but either way, it's a good end to an amazing album.

Do I even need to say it?

5 out of 5

Truly an under-appreciated work of blues and psychedelic rock, I enjoyed every second of it. I can't say I have any complaints. Dare I say, it's nearly perfect. Surely Apryl Fool is a new favorite of mine, and I'm definitely going to search for more from this band. I suggest you do, too.

Apogee & Perigee's "Chojiku Colodustan Ryokoki"

Artist: Apogee & Perigee (Japan)
Album: Chojiku Colodustan Ryokoki

Alright, so the Prologue just starts out with an introduction set to some space-music. Alrighty then.

Awww, Gessekai Ryoko sounds delightfully cute.
Oh my. Ohhh... dear. She...
I'm afraid I have run across a problem. Their vocalist... she's very, very bad. You can hear he catch her breath and go flat and everything...
Awww....
Regardless, it's still undeniably adorable, godawful vocals and all. What would I call this? Synthpop perhaps?

Well, maybe her vocals were irony in the first track. Yes, irony.
Processor Parsec seems to have a very hallow sounding male vocalist. Hey, I was right: an improvement! Well, I certainly like the space sound, I can't say I'm bored. I'm rather intrigued already.

Animaloid Mv II... A song with a title that strange has to be good, right?
Well... actually, yes. I have to admit, I love it. It's just weird enough, and just catchy enough for me to give it my approval. Plus, any song that features the vocalist saying "Meow Meow Meow" gets my attention (how many songs have such lyrics anyhow? I know of this and Queen's "Delilah". I will start a search.)
And yes, her vocals are slightly better in this song.

It seems to me that I will succumb to the pure cute catchiness, as usual. Sakasa Kenjin Eagus is painfully precious. And yet, it doesn't feel empty or overdone. This band is surprisingly fresh!
Fresh.. That's a word not used enough on this blog, it seems.

Ahh, Theme of Apogee (Spece Folklore). No, that is not a typo, my iPod says it really is "Spece". That aside, there is the male vocalist again, along with "Pop-pow-pow-pow pop-pow-pow" in between verses. Um, it's definitely one of a kind.

Track six Queen Graysher. I admit, I have no idea what a "graysher" is. Google doesn't know either. This song is a bit more mainstream sounding than the others. Instead of a quirky synthpop, Queen Graysher is a bit more of a pop-rock that you'd hear in the 90s. Not my favorite on the album so far.

Theme of Perigee is--- Okay, what's going on here?! Her vocals in Queen Graysher were quite good, but suddenly they're terrible!! Are these two different people, or does she just have very good days and very bad days? And wonderful, I can't seem to find much info on this either.
I suppose my questions will have to go unanswered.

As confused as ever, let's go to Sinku Kiss. As usual, it's just too damn cute for me not to like. I'm not sure if it's good in a technical sense, but it doesn't feel unoriginal. That's probably the tenth time I've said that, but that's alright.

So, the album comes to a close with Hope--
Oh wait, oh wait a second... Is that voice... Is that Jun Togawa? That explains the singing in some of the tracks! Haha! I am confused no longer!
I managed to find some info, and yes, that is Jun Togawa. Sorry, Jun, you're voice really is quite terrible! (haha)

Well, that's all for that album, so I'll give it a
4 out of 5
I would probably give it a 3 and 1/2, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I really enjoyed listening to it and damn, it's just too damn catchy.

Aphasia's "Mirage on the Ice"

Artist: aphasia (Japan)
Album: Mirage on the Ice (1999)

Well, I just got my braces tightened, so I happen to be even more angry and bitter today. Mirage on the Ice will have to be better than most of the crap I've listened to so far, or I'm going to lose it. I only know that aphasia are an all-girl hard rock band, but that's not enough information for me to have any hope.

Okay, on that note, let's get started!

Overture is the typical goth intro, complete with gothy bells and gothy violins. That's it.

Destination sounds like a lot of slightly-gothic inspired alternative music I've heard. The female vocalist and violins sounds really neat, but I think without them, I wouldn't like it at all. They're sort of saving the song right now.

Track two, Afterglow... Ahhhhh huuuummmmm no. (If you weren't able to tell, that was the sound I make when I think, apparently.)
Tired. That's the right word. It sounds tired. Why would I listen to this if there are hundreds of other hard rock/alternative bands that are so much better and so much more fun to listen to? Honestly now.

Well, it seems as if 75% of Black Shadow's lyrics are "Black shadow, black shadow, black shadow!!" (at least at first), which is incredibly annoying. I think at one point I liked this song... What was I thinking?

Kuruoshikuzaku Hana at least bears more of that hard-rock flair, much I much prefer over the overdone alternative-crap. Really, I don't even know if this would be classified as alternative, but the few sources I've seen say Heavy Metal. Really? This is their first album, and I suppose they probably changed over time, but this is most definitely not heavy metal. So, I call it alternative.
Oh, the actual song? I wasn't even listening.

Oh Jesus Christ. Jesus fucking Christ. Mahiru no Sora ni is hilariously lame!... It feels so misplaced!... Ha ha ha ha ha! (Typically, it's not good for such a serious band to make the listener laugh.)
But seriously girls, I see you're more in touch with your J-poppy feminine side with this song, but... honestly. It's kind of embarrassing.

Ashita e Fuku Kaze- The Wind Rises... How can wind rise? I'm sure if I think about it long enough, it will make sense. Hell, I'm tired right now, so it could make perfect sense and I'm just oblivious.
Oh, I'm off track. Really, it's just so hard to pay attention to this album, I get distracted by everything around me because I'm just so uninterested.

Well, at least Innocent Crime is nearing on the end of Mirage on the Ice... Luckily for me and my sanity, there are only ten tracks.
It. sounds. exactly. like. the. other. tracks. I needed to put periods between each word to emphasize how boring this is, you see. Maybe I should italicize instead.
In this song, the vocals border on just plain annoying at times. And yes, the backing vocals, too. The vocalist was the least of my complaints, but in this song, it just hits me.

Rain- Tsuioku. I have a feeling... it's going to be a ballad.
Yep, I seem to be right. 3/4 of all songs with "rain" in the title will be ballads, and I think we should break that trend. (I'm looking at you, Endless Rain.)
At the very least, it was a short instrumental.

Okay, here we are. The last track. At long last, I finally hear the end to this. It's just been dragging on and on and on and on...
Fuck, I'm not even going to bother listening. I'm tired, my teeth hurt and I'm late on taking my pain killers.
Good nigh---

Oh wait, I need to rate it.
1 out of 5

Good night.
(The guitar solo on the last track is good, by the way. Now, good night.)

Amphibian's "Doppelganger"

Artist: Amphibian (Japan)
Album: Doppelganger (1993)

Well, Negeki no Juujika really does sound like Japanese rock from 1993... I guess that's alright, it sounds a bit Luna Sea esque, I suppose. Whoa, those vocals are totally not Luna Sea.
Uummm, he seems to be alright if he doesn't sing too fast. But something terrible happens when he begins to quicken the pace a bit.
Really, it's just alright. It's good, I suppose.

Well, Maybe sounds heavier at first, but when it gets to the first verse... This song sounds like it's confused. As confused as I am, maybe. The vocals sound almost peppy, but everything else...
I don't really get this. It's just not appealing to the ears.

Hopefully the other eight tracks will be higher quality, because so far, it's not looking too great.
Well, at the very least, Mai Hime is.... shit, I can't say anything. Really, it's just not good enough to leave any impression on me. These albums are the worst, the ones that are simply not good.. They aren't bad enough for me to have fun, they aren't good enough for me to appreciate.
Sigh.

Upon further research (AKA looking on the SECOND page of my search on google), this was released under Free Will records back in the day. Which makes sense, because Color, By-Sexual, Kamaitachi, Billy & the Sluts and Gengaku Allergy (among others) were also a part of the record company. All of these bands are very typical early 90s Visual-Kei (Speed-iD were also part of Free-Will though, but they are excellent).
In fact, I can't think of many Free-Will artists that are especially interesting to me. More recent artists are Dir en grey, the GazettE, alice nine., Kra, SuG, etc., etc., who all are annoyingly unoriginal.

Anyhow.

Well, at least Church has a pretty badass bass solo. This song is the best so far.

No, that guitar riff isn't repetitive or boring at all... Not at all...
Well, at the very least, it changes. Doesn't make the song any less boring, though.

Okay now, Nanatsu no Tobira sounds pretty damn cool so far. Okay, okay, let's keep this up, Amphibian.
... No, I'll just forget this one in due time like the others. Dazzle me, Amphibian! I'm begging you!

I'll be honest, JJ is pretty annoying. I guess I don't need to add "I'll be honest", you can just assume I'm not holding back.

And I'll be brutally honest now, Mujinn no Heya is quite awful. Sloppy, annoying, no refining qualities. It's so bad, it knocked the whole damn album down a few pegs. Good job. Really, thumbs up. It takes a lot for me to do that, even with how picky I can be.

La-Mu is boring.

Easy Action is the last track. It is the second worst of the album. Hey, at least you won at something, Mujinn no Heya!!

1 and 1/2 out of 5.
Can I just be done with this album now? I've had enough Free Will crap for tonight.

Amadeus's "Mikan no Gosennfu to Kurayami no Meikyuu"

Artist: Amadeus (Japan)
Album: Mikan no Gosennfu to Kurayami no Meikyuu (1996)

Okay, let's get this over with.

Track one, Mae Kyougen, appears to just be a narration... Of course, my Japanese isn't near good enough for me to know what the hell he's saying, so it's rather boring.

OVERTURE is the second track, an instrumental, and already I'm hearing a very Klaha-era Malice Mizer sound. Basically, very neo-classical and gothic. For following up a boring intro, it really raises my spirits. OVERTURE is interesting and unique and powerful, I really like it.

Kyouzou no Kami again sounds like Malice Mizer, except much more synth-based. I suppose you could compare this to their Gackt-era Ju te Veux (I promise I'll stop comparing them to Malice Mizer soon).
I'm surprised... I really love it. The vocalist even has an interesting voice, which is a plus because one of my biggest peaves with V-Kei is the lackluster vocals.
And there's even a female vocalist that really gives Amadeus an even more original sound. The contrast between the two is interesting to listen to.

So far so good, Amadeus.
To Banai Tsubasa is very good, which only raises my hopes for this album. I can honestly say that this band have a very original sound. I know I compare them to Malice Mizer, but that's beside the point.

Uh oh. Jinsei wa iti gyou no Baudelaire Nisikanai appears to be another purely narration track. Luckily it's only one minute, so let's just move on.

Track six, Ludwig no Shouzou... Okay, seriously, enough with the skits. I can imagine that even if I could understand it I would be getting annoyed.

Going on...
Bakkou (L.va.Beethoven Piano Sonata) is what it sounds like. Very heavy with piano and very classical. The vocalist has surprisingly strong vocals even in a song as slow as this. There are many appealling aspects of the song, and... not much else to say.

I have actually heard the song Kokuhaku before, and I've always liked it a lot, and I still like it despite my tastes changing so much since then. I really just don't think you'll hear a lot of bands that sound like Amadeus. I realize that there are a lot of sort of neo-classical goth bands, especially in 90s Japan, but Amadeus have a sound all their own.

(crosses fingers) Please don't let Kubaku to Watashi be another act...
Okay, okay, singing. Good, good. This one bears more resemblence to Lareine, but again, there is much more synth, and the vocalist doesn't sound like he always has a cold (sorry, Kamijo. Your voice is cool regardless).

TELL ME TRUTH. Ahh, Engrish.
It's not quite as exciting as the other tracks, I'm not sure if I'll remember it a few minutes from now. Just a bit too bland for my tastes. It's not bad, though.

With Kasumi, I'm beginning to miss the gothic elements of this album, it definitely is taking a more classical turn. I must say that I prefer the female vocalist for these slower songs, her voice is pretty spectacular, and it's so rare hearing a female in a Visual-Kei band. Other than exist+trace, Danger*Gang and such, but they don't count because they're really quite bad. Yeah, I said it, come get me, internet police.

Fuck. Talking. In the Mist is another damn skit.

Imawatada Shizuka ni Anata no Motoni brings in the woman again, which makes me very happy. (I notice another similarity with Klaha-era Malice Mizer: They're song titles are ridiculously and unnecessarily long.)
The song is very short, but very lovely.

The last track of the album is their take on Ave Maria, where they take advantage of their female vocalist's amazing voice once again. It's incredibly beautiful, and an excellent way to end a really good album.

3 1/2 to 4 out of 5
Confusing rating, I know, but I just can't choose. I really like this album, but the narration songs get repetitive sometimes. I definitely prefer their gothic songs as opposed to their more classy tracks, but either way, Amadeus are definitely a gem that should be more appreciated. I plan to get ahold of some of their other work.

Aliene Ma'riage's "21st Century"

Artist: Aliene Ma'riage (Japan)
Album: 21st Century (2001)

If I'm not mistaken, this band is a late 90s visual-kei band? Ouch. I'm not one to like Visual-Kei past 1993 (that year it took a turn for the worst with bands such as Color and By-Sexual). It progressively got worse, in my opinion. Late 90s V-Kei always sounds so... "cookie cutter". Like the genre at the time was so specific it didn't allow for much individuality, with the exception of bands like Blam Honey, Malice Mizer and... shit, I can't think of another example at the moment..
I'm sure that that's not entirely the case because God knows I don't know much about Visual-Kei anymore. I once was a fan, but luckily, I grew out of it.

Anyhoo. Maybe Aliene Ma'riage can change my perception.

Of course the album starts with an instrumental. Of course.
Ohh, I'm making that seem like a bad thing. Perhaps I'm letting my bias rule this review already.
Well, I'm pleasently surprised to hear a sort of industrial goth sound.

Balmy Illegal Society is... heavy. For some reason, I like the electronic-sounding drums, and the guitar riff is pretty cool. I'm a bit undecided on the vocals, though. I'm usually not one for screaming or howling or anything like that (yes, I hate death and black metal) other than thrash metal (yes, I love Rosenfeld). I kind of like this, though.

BLACK JACK AGE sounds interesting, maybe... And I have to say, I prefer the screeching... His voice is so typical of 90s Visual-Kei.. hell, Visual-Kei in general. Yawn.
Are you starting to discover I don't like Visual-Kei? Let's see how many more times I'll say that in this entry.
I suppose I like this better than most, but I'm just not too impressed.

The fourth track is Kourin, and again I admit to liking the electronic drum sound.
In this song, the vocals have some similarities to Due le Quartz's singer. I don't think that was a compliment, Aliene Ma'riage.
What? It just suddenly cuts off. I think my mp3 file is corrupted. Oops.

Well, at least Native Devil brings back the heavy vocals. I was tired of hearing Sakito's-- oh, I mean "Kyoka's"-- tired ass vocals. It was numbing my brain a little. This song sounds a bit like white noise. I suppose it's not bad, maybe just not my "thing".

"Devine the future from......." Christ, is there enough periods in the title?
....... The vocals....... sound....... rather................. interesting............
Now I'm just being mean. But really, it catches my attention, I rather like the vocals in this song. Probably because he's on the border of just speaking, but nevertheless, the singing is interesting. My God, is that my foot tapping? I do not understand this.

We're on the seventh track, aren't we? Well, it's Deadly Sin (Nanatsu no Daizai). At this point, it all sort of blends together as one big, angry mass of noise. Although I do like the backing vocals.
Maybe I'm just picking out all the bad, because all the songs so far haven't been bad, and they haven't been difficult to listen to or anything.

The eighth out of ten tracks, Under the Rose Leaf, really does just blend into the others. I'm not remembering the other tracks all too well by now.

(sigh) Let's just press onward.
Cyber Patrol wo Uchiotose doesn't bring much variety to this album, despite how much I hoped it would. Based on the title, I was really wanting a cyber punk, techno sound to break up the repitition. Alas, no.

Okay, the last track, Chou... You know, I really wish it were some bubblegum pop song about being friends, I think that would make me instantly adore this album. But, it isn't. So the album gets a

2 out of 5.
For just not sticking out among all the others.
Give it a listen if you're, you know, into this kind of thing. Hell, compared to the V-Kei I listened to "in the day" (two years ago, I mean), it's pretty good.
I don't like Visual-Kei.
Ha, I said it again. I counted, I referenced to my dislike of the genre about ten times.
I strive to break my record one day.

And hey, look at that! Looks like my next review will be of Amadeus's "Mikan no Gosennfu to Kurayami no Meikyuu", a Visual-Kei band formed in 1996!! Hooray!

Make the record eleven times, then.

Akira Mitake's "Out of Reach"

Artist: Akira Mitake (Japan)
Album: Out of Reach (1983)

This is my first time listening to any of Akira Mitake's work, who was a member of one of my favorite bands, Ippu Do. As far as I know, he was the keyboardist, violinist, synths and marimba. This time, I actually have faith in this and know who the artist is. No doubt it will be New Wave, synth-pop influenced, which I obviously adore.
So, let the fun begin with Akira Mitake's "Out of Reach".

Violation, the first track, already grabs my attention, which is great. It's like writing, you really need a hook to keep the reader (or in this case, listener) interested enough to go on. And I am interested. Score for Mitake.

The second track is Can't Touch, Even Watch. I was wondering if this was going to be a purely instrumental record, but there is indeed singing. I can't say his voice is necessarily good, but it's nice to listen to and somehow works. I was going to say "This is why he wasn't the vocalist for Ippu Do, then", but I think he might have a better voice than Masami! (Hahaha, sorry Masami.)
There definitely are a lot of similarities to Ippu Do. That rubbery bass seems to be obligitory in this sort of New Wave music, huh? I'm definitely not complaining, the bass sounds pretty neat.
The Engrish is charming, too.

Lonely Man starts with little snipits of English, which makes the little girl in me go "Aww! He's trying so hard". (cough) But enough about that.
It's kind of entrancing, in a way. It's slow and less energetic than most of Ippu Do, but it still keeps my attention.

Modern System has more energy than the last three tracks, and definitely a lot more keyboard and bass heavy than the others, which had much of Mitake's violin. Again, pretty necessary for New Wave, haha.

Circus... Every band has to have at least one circus related song (just like "Sakura", God damn), so I suppose this is Mitake's take on it. It's refreshing to hear that it doesn't have that overused merry-go-round music nearly all songs entitled "Circus" use. You know what I'm talking about.

Toyko Great Town...
(hee)
I promised I wouldn't make any more remarks about the Engrish.
(hee ha ha)
Okay, okay.
I don't have much to say about this track. I don't think I'll remember it as much as the other tracks, although around the middle of the song, it begins to pick up pace before slowing right back down. Not my favorite on this record.

The fifth track, Glass Talk, is another bass/synth heavy song. As you can tell, I have a bit of a boner for bass, to put it crudely. Again, I'm not really too impressed, it feels like the album is running out of steam by this point. But maybe that's because the only up-beat track was Modern System, and I'm burnt out on slow songs at the moment!...

Hold on Me is the sixth tra--
(ha ha ha ha!...)
Okay, it's correct English, but it just sounds funny. I'll compose myself.
I definitely like this song more than the previous two, but I still feel as if the first four tracks held up better. But, there is still one more song before the end of the album, maybe it will change my mind.

I was hoping for a more high energy song to end Out of Reach, but, alas, Mr. Junk sounds like the slowest of all the tracks!...
Nevertheless, I'm really liking it. It's very pleasing to listen to, partly because his vocals seem more up to par. Hell, at a few parts, he sounds pretty decent! (I mean that in the kindest way possible.) Technically, his voice is bad, but like I said, it's fun to listen to. I rather like it.
Mr. Junk is a good end to the album, it's a bit more contemporary compared to the six other tracks and hardly even has the New Wave influences. I might mistake it for (gasp) a normal song that would play on the radio!! Oh my.

So, that's the end.

I think I'll give it a 3 out of 5. I'd recommend it for Ippu Do fans, and maybe to New Wave/synth-pop fans, but it's hardly revolutionary or extraordinary. I enjoyed listening to it, and it is a good album, but it is nothing more than "good".